My life.. | Teen Ink

My life..

October 4, 2012
By Anonymous

My topic is life and how the events in my life have changed my life.An event that happened in my life is my step dad passed away on July 15th 2010.He was not only the only dad i really ever had in my life,he was also my bestfreind.This event changed my life forever.I could tell my step dad anything anything and he would listen,but now i'm lost without him. It was like the world came crashing down on my shoulders.I had to be the man of the house now and i didn't know if i could step to the plate or not and take his spot,but i knew i had too.Nothing felt the same without him.He and i had fights and arguments before he found out that he had Stage Four Lung Cancer,but he always had days where he was angry because of the pain, and that he couldn't do what he used to.He would yell but not on purpose just because of the pain,it wasnt his fault so we couldn't blame him. What i learned from this event is that life is too short to argue with family,that you should stick by their side and love them no matter what and love and care for them.Before my step dad died,my family and me were getting ready to leave the hospital i went over to his bed after everyone else said their goodbyes and what not.Iknew it was my turn so i went over there gave him a hug and said i love you but didn't say goodbye because i know he is always going to be with me and in my heart.I took two steps away from the and he had took his last breath. It looked like his mouth did the movement like he was trying to say i love you.I think thats all he wanted to hear was me say i love you for once.All this led to freshman year at the highschool, September 7th 2010.I was still beating myself up about my step dads death because i felt like it was my fault. That freshamn year i barely ever came to school, i was always skipping school just because i didn't want to be around people and i couldn't focus or concentrate.But when i did go to school all i did was get myself in trouble.I thought just because my step dad wasnt around anymore i could do what i wanted when i wanted and i wouldnt get in trouble,but i was wrong.I regret all the trouble i got myself into that year when i look back at that year it just fustrates me because i couldve done so much better.When i went to school i would cut class or just walk out.It was a rough year for me and still is.I'm trying to overcome all my stuggles.I've been down a bumpy road but it's flattening out this year.I had the guilt of letting my step dad down still following me, i knew i had to do something to change that,i just didnt know what.During freshman year March 5th of 2011 i was put on pins because i never went to school, it felt like i was in prison.Then second freshman year May 5th 2012 i was suspended for possesion of marijuana. I had gotten suspened for the rest of the year, just because i wanted to be like the others and thought it would make everything better.It didnt make anything better it made it all worse.I got involved in the wrong crowd of people and i learned my lesson.I knew i had to do something to fix things, so i went to summer school for English and Global and now i'm doing better in school.I dont hang out with the people i used to i grew up and chose the right road to go down.I passed both of my summer school classes with an average of a 79.I was proud of myself i finally did it!After all i've been through i learned from these events.I had no one to blame but myself it was my choices and my decisions.I chose the better road to go down this year and im glad i did.School really wasn't that bad after all.


The author's comments:
These are the struggles i have been through and the road i've been down the last few years

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