What I Want

I want to live in a place where I'm not constantly troubled by the wants and, needs of a normal human being. A place where its always raining, the constant pitter patter of the rain, falling onto a small shack. A shack with palm-trees all in a neat row up to the front door. Inside the shack there is a small t.v. with no cable, and 1 still working button. The t.v. is in a small living-room comprised of a couch, a recliner, and an oval shaped rug with fading colors. Next to the living room a doorway opens up into a bedroom. In the bed room a cot with a folded feather-bed sits against a wall. Beside the cot a nightstand sits with its polished wood, a lamp stands proudly with an alarm-clock beside its base. A single window with curtains drawn, gives the view of a small island where the sun comes to rest every evening. One last room in the shack, a room with special meaning, a room with pictures and videos of a past long gone. also in the room large picture-frames with magnificent details carved into a gold painted wooden frame. This picture-frame is not like many you've seen before, no, this one contains memories and dreams, ones witch were deemed the happiest moments in life. The memories can be relived over and over again.



However on that island where the sun rests in the evening and slowly pulls up from the horizon in the morning. An Identical picture-frame lies in the sand buried deep within the island, somewhere hidden, somewhere that it is kept safe from view. This frame holds memories as the last one did, except these memories were meant to be destroyed, not buried. These memories are ones of a time of great agony and suffering, memories that are never to be revisited again. They lie buried not because someone forgot to destroy them, but because they were saved. Saved out of sheer stupidity. That and the want to not forget about a love, a love long lost, a love that wasn't to be. A love forged out of depression, loneliness, and the urge to give up and the want for acnoligment.



This world is the world within my heart. A world that I hate, it used to be a happy place filled with an unyielding love. There was no worry and there was no pain, no suffering, no loss. The world I've described to you in the last two sentences is no more. What I want is for the world within my heart to be healed, and not to be so lonely. I want someone to love, someone who "truly" loves me. I'd rather live a normal life and die at the end of a normal life with that someone, than live forever constantly casting my problems into the hole, the hole where the second picture-frame lies.





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