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Endurance

When I was little, unhappiness was foreign to me. For every minute of my life, I would be running, jumping, skipping, laughing. Always laughing. Laughing at the littlest things, giggling at the slightest pleasure. Life was adventure. Adventure being playing “don’t-touch-the-hot-lava” and making sand gardens. Adventure being finding slimy worms under rocks and chasing after lizards in the backyard. Adventure being dressing up in princess gowns and asking my mother: “do I look fancy?” I wouldn’t waste a minute of my life.

All those years, I didn’t have a care in the world. All those years, I was happy. It’s funny how fast things can change.

When I was nine, I was diagnosed with juvenile fibromyalgia. I would feel tired often, and muscle pains occurred regularly. I didn’t run much anymore. I didn’t laugh much anymore. From then on, I got through life instead of actually living it. Besides physical pain, I was hardly aware of much change in my life. Everybody noticed how differently I was acting except me. Other kids would ask me “why don’t you smile?” or “why don’t you laugh?” I never had an answer. People thought I was boring just because I was serious. But in a way, I guess I was. My friends, who laughed often, and ran often, began to drift away. I guess I turned invisible. They would talk to each other, but not to me. Maybe they thought I wouldn’t listen. Maybe they thought I wouldn’t care. But pretty soon, my friends were gone.

It wasn’t like I tried to be miserable. To be honest, I didn’t even notice that I was. But one day, my mom said: “you used to be so happy, what happened?” And it finally occurred to me: I was unhappy.

From then on, I tried to start anew. There was one girl who was in my class a couple years ago, who was quiet, but had a couple friends. I started to talk to her and hang out with her. Soon enough, we became very good friends. This was the first bit of happiness I’d had for a long time. I started to laugh again.

For the first time, I wasn’t enduring. I was fighting.

Today, I still have fibromyalgia. Lately, I’ve had a lot more pain than usual. But I am fighting it. I will always fight it. And I will always laugh.



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This article has 6 comments. Post your own!

abbstar111us said...
Sept. 22, 2012 at 11:55 am:
I really like this, I can relate a bit too, well done :D
 
stupendousman replied...
Sept. 22, 2012 at 12:45 pm :
thank you!
 
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bagley777 said...
Sept. 21, 2012 at 8:01 pm:
This is a very touching story. I can relate a little bit, having some health problems of my own. (Nothing like that, though!) Very good writing too! Love it(:
 
stupendousman replied...
Sept. 21, 2012 at 11:51 pm :
thank you so much!
 
ClaireBearHThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Jan. 5, 2013 at 3:32 pm :
Wow this is really touching and sad! really nice!
 
stupendousman replied...
Jan. 5, 2013 at 11:21 pm :
thanks! :)
 
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