Everyone Has A Story, This Is Mine

September 15, 2012
By , midland, Canada
I always new something was off about me. I did things differently, I was demanding, easily worried and always had to know. As i go older things got worse i became obsessive and took things way too far.

It started of when i was little with germs and being clean, but really who doesn't want to be clean right? Then is progressed a little into the organization of my room and my things; which wasn't all bad either. I probably would have been fine but in my first year of high school just happened to be taking a family studies class; where we were doing a unit on food health. I don't know what it was that made me do it I just became obsessed. I'd been obsessive over other things before but none of those things caused much physical harm.

I became worried about making health choices, then about calories, fat intake, weight and exercising. I remember going to the movies with my friends and freaking out at them for offering me some of there popcorn so believe me when I say it got bad. I was working out everyday and sometimes twice a day and probably only eating around 1000 calories per day. I'd completely cut out all junk food and most semi-normal food; I was mostly eat fruit and vegetables.

At the same time as all of this, I was becoming moodier and more obsessive with organization. Everything in my house had to be organized my way and no one was allowed to move things. I always had to sit a a certain spot, use a certain cup, things had to be planned, I had to know where everyone was going and when they'd be back. In short form I'd lost it.

Before this all started I was 5'8 and weighed 140 lb 4 months later I'd dropped 30 lb. My period stopped, I was always cold, my skin became all dry out and yet i continued to convince myself and my parents I was fine. But thank god for over caring parents they made me go to the doctor. Whom at first i also tried to trick but it wasn't as easy, and he saw right through me.

I was sent to a therapist who actually told me that i had an OCD/anxiety disorder. I was told I had to gain back weight I was on the brink of being put in hospital. They also put me on pills to help calm my crazy obsessive actions. Which helped a lot and I started to be me again, I was happy again and it was nice.

It is now just over two years since the stat of all of this I'm still on medication and don't have my period back currently I weigh 126 lb which is at the lowest level of a healthy weight for my height. The weird thing about all of it is I used to joke about having OCD, who knew i was right all long.

I shared my story hoping to warn people you'll never know when something might creep up on you. Also to tell you to live your life how you want; perfect doesn't exist, we shouldn't all be obsessing tiring to achieve it.





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