September 9, 2012
I miss you. I miss your laugh, how you would tell me that everything was going to be okay. We were always on the same page. You were the only person who ever truly understood me. I knew what I had, which made it hurt even worse when you left. It makes me wonder whether you knew what we had, and was it enough for you? I still love you, I think about you everyday. I'm homesick. Like I'm in a foreign land and I can't understand what they're saying...I'm lost. I'm searching for you, but you're nowhere to be found. It's funny, before I even met you, I never felt like this...empty, confused, & hurt...longing. I guess I got use to something I can't have.
Remember all the times we said we didn't want to be with anyone else ever again? Remember all the times you told me you loved me? Were they all lies? Did I know that I was giving my heart away so you could crush it? Or did I just believe that every girl would find her prince? I know I found mine.
I miss your smile. I miss how you always knew what to say to me. I miss those deep, personal conversations we would have, pouring our hearts out.
I miss you.
I miss how you were always mad at Momma & Daddy. They alwasys tried to keep us apart. But we were stronger.
Our love was stronger.
Before you, I never wanted marriage or kids. Now, I want all those things, but not without you. Since that day, I haven't trusted anyone like I trusted you...except Kait. She got me through that week of hell that was worse than anything. She knows I still miss you. There's no point in denying it. She tells me to follow my heart. Lately, that's been hard to do.
Remember that night when you were in the woods with the guys? That night I finally said yes to your constant begging for me to give you another shot? To give us another shot? Well, I relive that night all the time. Truth is, I had fallen for you before that, but I was just to stubborn to admit it. But, no matter what, I wouldn't ever change my yes that night.

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