The Boyfriend Epiphany

September 8, 2012
How does one know if they’ve found true love?

I’ve always found it a mystery.

I spend most of my time searching around at school, wondering if one of them is my soul mate, my true love, the Harry to my Ginny.

And one day, while texting one of my friends, it hit me.

The reason I couldn’t find him was because I didn’t even know myself.

I’d always believed in fairytales. The girl is always happier with her Prince Charming. Even in reality, I noticed all my girl friends seemed happier with their boyfriend.
I believed the boy was the key to their happiness.

But that’s not true.

My friends that have a boyfriend are some of the most dynamic people I know. I say the word ‘dynamic’ not in the sense that they’re exciting and out-going and all the things most people think about at the word ‘dynamic’.

I mean it in the English class sense of the word.

The dynamic character in a plot in any story or novel is the one that has gone through a change. The change is when the character comes to realize who they are and what they’re meant to be, as it applies to their purpose or destiny. Knowing who they are opens the gateway to their happiness.

I’ve just realized this is a change I have not gone through. I am always bored. I’m never happy, not really.

I barely know myself.

So how would I expect my soul mate to find me if I haven’t even found myself?

Or maybe...maybe I'm one of those people who married the first man she dated. Like my mom and my dad.

Maybe the person I'm looking for is waiting for me outside of the boundaries of that which is my life at this point.

Maybe they're not ready to know me.

My dad has told me before.

"If I had met your mother ten years earlier, we would have never gotten married."

This brings me back to my first point.

He wasn't ready. He hadn't found himself yet. He was still a "dumb, party-all-night twenty year old," as he puts it.

It all ties together.

I know right now I am unhappy, seeing the happiness of those around me, wondering why I don't have somebody to hold me when I'm down, to give me answers to my problems.

But I'm okay with that.

I know he's out there. Somewhere.

It's only a matter of time till God crosses our paths together in some crazy, sweet, seemingly coincidental destiny.

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