Love?

By , Oklahoma city, OK
I never thought “Love” would feel like this,
I didn’t think it was always feeling this pain.
Trying to hide myself because I feel so ashamed.
Why do I feel stuck, like I’m in a small box? I can’t breathe! Let me out.
I always kept you in doubt I would always do my own thing and go about, my business.
Why do I feel so alone? Pushing out the whole world and getting into my own zone.
Music is my life I listen to it all day and night, getting into my feelings wondering if I was ever worth the fight.
Out of every lie I’ve been told I love you was my favorite, after a while I just learned to absolutely hate it.
When I say I love you too it’s a lie don’t like it? Keep on walking boy bye.
I learned from the best, congratulations high five! Guess we both told some lies.
I lie in my bed reach up and turn out the lights, lay back and pray god help me your all I can count on tonight.
I open my eyes and stare at the ceiling just going through my stupid feelings; I just want to go to bed but so many things are running through my head.
Morning time comes time to go to this school, a place where i get judged at with a million rules. I sit back hold my pencil and look around whys everybody staring at me with the same exact frown. Get me out of this school I’m so depressed I’m under way too much stress.
I’m a black ocean weeping in white. Sinful thoughts, sinful eyes, sinful body, sinful lies and last but not least sinful pride.
What the hell do you want from me? Perfection isn’t my profession want to know the truth? Fine pay attention, I’m about to make some confessions.
When I look in the mirror I feel pain, hate in my heart, I see hurt in my eyes, so many problems too much it’ll kill ya yet I still smile and walk away from the mirror.
Blocking out my thoughts and pain yeah I still feel ashamed. I run to my momma feel a part of me is missing she always has to have her own dang opinion.
I know you can hear me! Let me talk, you talking over me what’s that going to solve. You don’t like me but you love me? Tired of hearing it man I’m done. But every time I say I’m done I find myself trying again. Don’t cry time to say goodbye, I’m annoyed I give up I tried now take that pride of yours and leave me alone.
I just want to be alone, no love, mom just please take me home.
Now I’m back in my room there I lay feeling so ashamed, cry myself to sleep rock a bye baby, see there I weep. Turn out the lights I can only count on god tonight.





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