him?

September 6, 2012
By , havelock, Canada
Remember that day we met, yeah I remember it like it was yesterday, I was nervous, unsure if weather it would go well or be an awkward silence, we got our ice cream and headed to the water where we sat and talked for hours, not a minute without words. When you leaned in for a kiss I was shocked and even though I was in a relationship I leaned towards you and kissed you back, at that moment I knew, there was a connection, it was stronger then I have ever felt before. I knew I wouldn’t be able to not fall for you, each time we saw each other my feelings grew larger and larger for you. You never went off my mind, I couldn’t help myself I wanted more and more from you, and after 6 months of feelings that kept growing, I had to date you, I didn’t want to lose you to someone else I wanted you to myself. We grew so close, we knew everything about another, we knew our likes and dislikes, we knew each others families like they were our own, we had the perfect relationship. Everything was what any girl would wish for, an open family that brought you in like their own, parents got along, seen each other all the time, woke up beside one another went on family vacations with ones family. Everything was more then I could have asked for, the one down fall that brought everything to an end, was us, together, we loved one another deeply, I was your top priority and you were mine, putting one another first, but things get rough when jealously takes over the person, when rules have to be set, when sexual desires have to be fulfilled every night, when you spend more nights arguing then smiling with each other. We held on for as long as we could, we stressed each other out to the max and cried more then we should have, we fought more then any couple should ever do in their whole life in a day, but the times when we were smiling and getting along made up for those when we weren’t, our love was to strong to let go, but when it comes down to each others happiness we fulfilled that, but stress was to high for us to handle, things get worse when you cant trust, and respect and be honest with on another, lies get deeper and more lies are created, trust is lost with very lie and respect isn’t gained by doing something when one says not too. I wanted for you to not be stressed it was killing me seeing you unhappy and trying your hardest to impress me, but ending in fights, and you not being able to control it due to the stress levels, I thought it would be good for us to finally end things, for good, not those breaks that we took after things went wrong, nothing ever changed love grew stronger but the relationship got weaker. You spent the first few days not leaving me alone contently messaging me trying to change my mind that you would do anything just to have one more chance, I knew it wasn’t right, and I know it was the right choice, because you became closer to your friends, you do stuff contently, now though I have different thoughts, I was ready to hang out with you again and we planned too, and I was excited, I started calling you more, and crying more over how much I missed you, and in the matter of 3 days, you changed your mind completely, you suddenly didn’t love me anymore, only as a friend nothing more, you didn’t even want to talk anymore and you found another girl, you knew for 5 days, and your dating her, and expecting me to be fine with it and completely over you, when I spent the 3 months alone trying to get over you by myself, well you had a party to go to every night, Im trying my hardest to get through this but seeing you happy and knowing im not the reason anymore, its killing me, I never thought this day would come, and many others didn’t see it either. I want you to be happy but I wanted it with me, I doubt it will happen again, because im afraid that nothing has changed and we would fall back into the same patterns, but I can always wish that we will fall back together and have no flaws and have that perfect relationship every girl dreams of.





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kailee313 said...
Sept. 13, 2012 at 8:57 pm
thank you.
 
Sporty_Girl_Alicia said...
Sept. 10, 2012 at 1:33 pm
Know EXACTLY how you feel...Hope things get better for you(:
 
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