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Dissowned

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It’s kind of funny.


You've left me again.


I'm not counting...

But it's the third time.





I can still remember the times you scared me the most.


1) The time when I was learning the numbers in Spanish, and you kept yelling at me because I kept mixing 60 and 70. You eventually hit me because you got angry and I ended up having Tio Tura help me.


2.) The time I was up at 2AM trying to learn math from you, and you got mad so you punched me to the ground and started yelling at me.


3.) The time you went up to my room and yelled at me and pushed me to the bed because lately I was wearing all black.


It’s even funnier how you want ME to apologize to YOU.


I hate you. HATE YOU.


You just think about yourself.


You think you are always right, and that is your flaw. You are arrogant. I could never tell you anything because you would do your own thing and not listen. You would promise change, and it never happened. You never changed. You just put my hopes up and then made me cry once again because what you said was a lie. What am I to expect? You have never been there, you have never kept your word, and you have never been a real father.





….Because you're perfect and everyone else is wrong.


I'm sick and tired of you.


You destroyed me.


You traumatized me.


You want to know what happens when people yell at me?


I start to cry, sweat, shake, my heart skips beats, and I lose my breath to the point where I'm begging for air.


Why? I think I can blame you for that! The only person that has ever yelled at me and hurt me, is you. You would yell at me because I didn't understand what you were explaining to me. So thank you for traumatizing me. Thank you for not being there growing up, thank you for not being there when I lived with you, thank you for leaving AGAIN, and thanks for making everything about yourself!


If I was ever depressed, you sure had a lot to do with it!


When I lived with you, I felt alone, and you did nothing to change it. You blamed it on me.


You and my mom both were TERRIBLE parents! But at least she has changed, and apologized, and recognized what she had done wrong! At least my mom was there emotionally... Not all of the time, but at least we talked... At least she tried to be there... You didn't try until it was too late... When everything was already corrupt...


You seriously haven’t brought me anything more than emotional pain. You tried to help at 12. And it was a nice thought. But you ruined it. You messed it up even more once I moved in with you. You made me feel more alone then I had ever been before. My time was spent sitting in my room alone. You were never my family. You are a terrible excuse for a family. Families are supposed to make you feel loved. I felt alone, neglected.


You left me so alone on the days I needed you the most.


You made me insecure; you killed me from the inside out.





I'm pretty much done with you at this point. Figuratively speaking, I didn't have a father growing up, so I'm more than sure that I will be fine with not having one for the rest of my life. Don't worry, as soon as I'm 18 you can be done with me too.


I'm making sure you know, I will not be apologizing.


I hate you.


You made my childhood and early teenage year’s hell.


I'm GLAD I moved away from you.


You are a liar, and a terrible parent.


You are selfish for expecting me to apologize. Most of this is your fault.


I'm done trying.


I'm tired of trying to be perfect for you...






And thanks again, for nothing.



XO, your bastard son.





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This article has 1 comment. Post your own now!

andream12 said...
Sept. 6, 2012 at 2:36 pm
Umm... Wow. Bet writing that made you feel better, all I have to say is... Good job at being very descriptive.
 
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