Life with Divorced Parents

August 22, 2012
By , Basalt, CO
In the U.S, there is a 50% rate of divorce. So oddly, half of married couples relationships end in divorce. As I drag myself day by day, I am a child of one of those married couples who is in the midst of divorce.

It all started many years ago. I feel I have known the sound of my parents fighting. The yelling, my dad’s voice over powering my mom’s with me and my brother only watching or listening from downstairs. Except for the rarest occasions, whenever my parents were in the same room, all I can remember was them screaming at each other over some random thing. It made no sense. Over the last few years, my parents had told my brother and I that they were thinking of getting divorced, but it never happened. The fighting got worse and worse and soon enough, my parents were fed up and the disturbing news came.

The middle of this past summer, summer of 2010, I was told the news that would change my life. I had just returned from a spectacular camp in Putney, Vermont when my mom landed the bomb on me. My parents were getting divorced and there was no turning back, their minds were set.

Suddenly, my world came crashing down on my shoulders. The fighting now turned into me having two different houses and having to move into a new house with half of my stuff. On top of that, I’m only halfway through my high school years, while my brother is off at college. Having to go between two houses, living separately with two parents and balancing my last two years of high school, seemed like too much to put on one child.

My mom and I searched the remainder of the summer for somewhere to live and finally settled on a one bedroom with one bathroom and a mixed living, dining, kitchen area in Willits. By the time we moved in at the start of the school year, complications had arose in our new home. We were going between two houses and when disaster struck in our bathroom, we had to move back to our original home. We moved back to Willits but still, I was not happy.

I have the worst temper and once my parents split, my temper rose significantly. I was seeing too much of my mom and not enough of my dad but I could never express that, so I would get mad and break things. It was a horrible habit that I couldn’t stand to deal with; I knew I couldn’t keep acting that way. So one Friday while meeting with Bo the school counselor, she advised me to see an outside counselor that could help me with my pain. So my mom found a counselor and I began to see her.

Once I began my counseling, I still had my ups and downs, I still do today. I’ve had horrible meltdowns and almost every week, I express to my counselor what happened and how I felt. It feels good knowing I can express what is going on in my life, what I am dealing with.

With my emotional rollercoaster, running back and forth between two houses, and my school, my life seems totally crazy. But hopefully, life will calm down and I will get used to my new life. I am not the only one who has dealt with divorce. Many students here have dealt with their parents getting divorced as well. “I am sick of the fighting. I wanted them to divorce, although I am shocked that they are. I am happy with the divorce though we are having financial problems. I am sick of hearing parents complaining about it, but I don’t want my parents to get back together,” Zac said.

Divorce is never easy. Tearing families apart, putting more responsibilities on both the parents and children, turning their normal lives into a nightmare. A nightmare that turns into new lives and new opportunity. It starts as the worst life anyone could possibly have. But eventually people realize that what happened in the divorce, happened and may never change. A painful time that seems like it will never end and nothing will ever get better. I felt that once I knew my parent’s divorce was real. I didn’t feel like I could get back on my feet. But I knew I had to, or I’d just be an unhappy person in a slump. But I knew, even though my parents are divorced, that I had nothing to do with me and I still have a lot of life to live. Nothing can bring me down.

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