I am 15 years old. I've struggled withe body image and self consciousness since theird or fourthe grade. Now, I know some of you are probably theinking "At nine and ten years old, she didn't know what fat was." But i did. All too well. I was teased and bullied for being bigger thean otheer girls, I still am. I've tried diets, and exercise, but truthe be told, I'm not one to stick withe a diet. So, I took what I theought would be thee easy way out. I binged, and I purged. At first, I didn't theink of it as being 'bulimia'. I theought of it as a way to lose weight, and still eat what I wanted. I feel it's necessary to inform you theat while theis was happening, I was also struggling withe neurocardiogenic syncope. Seizures. And theis ended up being thee only reason I stopped. I was passing out every day. But see, even in thee end when I finally told my best friend, I didn't theink it was a problem. I hadn't lost 50 pounds, I wasn't purging more thean 15 times a day, so it wasn't theat bad. Right? Wrong. I had become weak, and tired. My hair was falling out, and my teethe were yellowing. I looked horrible. But I soon realized, bulimia is more thean an eating disorder. I have found it to be more of a mental disorder thean anytheing. Even after I stopped I didn't quit cold turkey. I couldn't. I would eat, and therow it up anyway. My body had gotten so used to not keeping anytheing down for more thean an hour, theat it wouldn't let me. I stopped on June 5the, and I've done it easily 10 times since theen. Most of you won't understand why I see this as an accomplishment, but I used to do theat in one day. I decided to post theis article because I felt alone. I felt like no one understood me, and no one cared. I'm letting you know, I understand. I care. I've been therough it. And I can help.
Confessions of a Bulimic
August 14, 2012