Oil and Water

July 27, 2012
By Anonymous

I can pour out my heart and soul writing this but the underlying truth will always remain the same. Our ideas captivate our minds. One simple idea could ruin a life just as one idea could save a life. The truth is that everyone has an idea. And ours was love. Our hearts became entangled when we first met but when the truth began to slip, the ropes began unraveling but tightening at the same time. They were handcuffing us- leaving us exactly where we wanted to be while knowing that we couldn’t be there. And as much as we both needed to break free, we just couldn’t. It was as if we were born for falling for each other while trying our hardest not to. We were born aliens to each other- haters from different worlds; worlds that were not fair; worlds that would eventually force us to separate forever. Our lives would never be able to coexist. Our families sure couldn’t. Its funny how something so simple yet so difficult could result in a life-time of “what if’s” and never knowing what could have happened if we had actually given up and went for it despite what they all told us.

From the beginning he was discriminated against while I was invisible. I was in my first year of college when my older sister introduced us. We immediately connected and by the next week we were becoming good friends. Of course, I was attracted to him in more ways imaginable. Little did I know, every time he saw me he fell for me more. But yet his denial of his interest in me kept him from reaching for my hand, asking me out, and kissing me various times. At the time I never understood why he wouldn’t take a leap of faith and allow himself to fall for me. We were obviously perfect for each other: we spoke the same two languages, shared a belief in God and wanted the same things in life. Simply, I didn’t know much. Because yet again, little did I know, God would actually play a huge role in our journey. About the same time he began confessing his interest in me, he also confessed that he was a Jehovah’s Witness. And I was born a Christian. We realized then that there was no future for us, but neither of us had the guts to confess it. It should have ended then. We should have called it quits when we had the chance, instead of causing each other more distress and heartbreak with knowing that we would never be able to be together.

The day I told my dad that he was a Jehovah’s Witness was one of the worst days of my life. I was told to back off and let the friendship die with time. I cried myself to sleep. I didn’t want to, and in my heart I made the decision that even though we were born to be apart I was going to pursue him no matter what the outcome. Every time I was around him I couldn’t take my eyes off of him. I knew the day was coming soon that he would have to leave for another campus while I attended the same one. But he had such a power over me that I tried to resist falling in love with him but I could not. And so, for a few months we forgot all of our family and religious disputes and tried to be as close as possible. That was the biggest mistake of our lives. While we were prancing around the college campus together, best friends- closer than ever- he told me about her. There be a million girls in this world, but she is one I will never forget. She knew about me but never truly knew what her future husband and I were. She was the one whom he was truly in love with. She was a witness as well which gave her a one-up on me. But even though he was in love with her, he still had that same look in his eyes when he stared at me. Everything remained the same until it came time for him to leave. We spent the entire day together knowing that we wouldn’t see each other for months. We went to lunch, sang country songs and laughed the day away. And when it came time for him to leave, I watched as his ride drove out of sight.

The next day we spoke as usual. He reminded me of how “perfect, sweet, beautiful and lovable” I was. That day, though, I questioned his religion and pointed out some imperfections I saw in their beliefs. That day, December 12th 2011, he ended all contact with me.

The truth is that even though we fell for each other, we were viciously separated by our families and beliefs. We were born on opposite sides of a bridge-a burning bridge. The fire forced us to walk away before we were burned from attempting to meet at the middle. He decided that breaking my heart was easier than leaving his religion to be with me. He tried converting me so we could be together and the truth is that I even tried converting him. The last time he tried was on December 12th 2011. The strange thing is that today is December 12th 2011. This story will never be edited, it will never be changed. It will prove the raw emotion that I am feeling from the situation I just encountered. Today, I have shared a piece of my heart: a piece that still belongs to him. I pray that whoever reads this will take my advice when I say: soon enough you’ll tire out from trying to mix oil and water. Sometimes it’s just easier to give up and walk away.

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