The darkness is falling around me. I do not know which way to turn at this point. I do not even know where to begin to tell of my loneliness. I want to see the light at the end of the tunnel but that light keeps escaping me. Why does life have to be so lonely? What are others around me thinking when they see me walking alone? I know I am not really alone because I have good friends and a wonderful family but sometimes in the back of my head I feel that is just not enough. There is something missing that I cannot quite put my finger on it and continues to drive me crazy. I often find myself sitting staring at the walls in my room, watching them close in on me. The utter silence is so deafing to me that I just want to jump up and scream till I pass out. Being a teenager has been a lonely time in my life. Although everyone may experience it at any time during their life, I feel the teenage years seem to be more difficult to handle. The level of maturity that one has plays a big role in how they handle different situations. In most cases, teenagers do not express their feelings of loneliness because often do not understand their feelings. However, anger seems to be the most seen expression.

Peer pressure plays a huge part of being a teenager. Teens are constantly being pressured by peers and parents. They feel the pressure to fit in, get good grades, be nice to siblings, and to stay out of trouble. These feelings can be quite overwhelming to a young person like me. Loneliness can come from not feeling accepted by peers because you don’t want to do the things they are doing so they try to push you away. When someone does not feel accepted, they assume that there is something wrong with them. They start to doubt themselves and feel rejected by those around them. This does not just happen with their peers but also happens in the home. A teenage can feel loneliness because they feel they do not get enough attention at home and will sometimes be rebellious to get any attention. When someone is looking for clarification from others and crave attention, they often get it any way they can whether it is positive or negative.

It is often that teenagers try to find other outlets that will make them feel more accepted. Take for example the internet where you can be someone that everyone will like. It does not matter if it is the true you but as long as you feel wanted by others. The internet gives a person the ability to “delete” those out of their lives if they want.

Many teenagers feel that they are misunderstood especially by parents and teachers. In their mindset, parents do not know what you are going through so there is no way they could understand how you feel. Teachers are just out to get me and give me bad grades so why should I even try to turn in an assignment or make good grades on my tests.

I do not know how to handle these feelings of loneliness and I do not know where to turn. I talk to my friends when we are together but I do not dare talk to an adult about this because what do they know about being lonely. I thought that these days would not last long but for me it seems like they are going on forever. I feel as if no one appreciates me and I am always depending on myself to get things accomplished. There is a sense of pride that overwhelms me because me, a teenager, knows everything about life and how to handle all situations that are thrown at me. Well, I am beginning to realize that is not true. I do not know everything and I do not know how to handle the feelings that seem to consume me. Many would probably say that I was crazy or weird but what is normal? I know I am different from others and that my uniqueness puts me into a category all my own. The feelings that I have right now may help me when I am older to realize that I can make this on my own and that I do not need someone right by my side to make this work. I may feel lonely now but I have to look deep within myself to see why I may feel like this. I would like to sit down with an adult not necessarily my parents but someone I trusted and just ask advice from them. The reason I would exclude my parents is because I feel they would be too judgmental and not open their eyes up to my problem.

Being unpopular does not bother me because I see people who are popular and most of the people that hang around them are not true friends and think it will make them look good if they do. I heard a saying, “It is always lonely on the top.” I can see how this can relate and be so true. "If you care about what others think, then you will be forever their slave.” This quote, to me, means that although someone may say you are weird, always putting you down, or just not accepted by those around you then you will forever be enslaved to their words, thoughts, and feelings about you. At some point and time you have to wake up and realize that ypou are somebody and that you can do anything you put your mind to know there is a difference between being alone and feeling lonely. You have to be confident with yourself and love yourself so that little things that people say will not have that big of affect on you. This will come with maturity and better understanding of those that around you. If you take the negativity out of your life then you can start living a better one. These times of darkness will fade with every passing day, I do see the light at the end of the tunnel and my loneliness is fading away.