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Questioning

By , san francisco, CA
I am a normal 14 year old high school student questioning my sexuality. Questioning. It’s a real thing. It’s even in initiallism. LGBTQ means lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, questioning, so ha! This is a real thing and I promise I am not just saying it for attention. I am female by birth, and plan on staying female for the rest of my life (no guarantees however). In 4ht grade, I had a crush on this boy named [this person’s name has been removed in case he happens to stumble upon this article. Why don’t we call him boy 1]. So, I assumed I was straight. I have only ever had a crush on guys, and could only think about liking guys, having sex with guys, going on dates with guys, until this year. It was the first day of classes in the new semester. I was in writing class and noticed this girl [her name has also been removed due to aforementioned reasons. She is girl1] came and sat next to me. She smelled really nice. I looked over and woah! It was strange feeling. I didn’t think I liked her, especially because I have a very large crush (like REALLY BIG) on my best friend guy friend W-[Oops! Almost let that one slip. Boy 2]. No, it was something different. I couldn’t quite put my finger on it yet. The term progressed and I realized I liked her boobs. I still didn’t feel like I had a crush on her, and still don’t, just the boobs. As you can imagine, this confused me immensely. I thought about this a lot, and realized it wouldn’t be that weird for me to like a girl. I can picture myself making out with someone of the female identity, holding hands, going to see a movie and holding her in my arms. I after much thought, I decided this means I am questioning my sexuality. I am waiting for a girl to come along and make me melt in my pants. This might not happen, and then I will be happily having relationships with guys and saying I am questioning for the rest of my life. And I am fine with that. I don’t need to have a set sexuality. I am who I am no matter what happens.





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skylark98 said...
Aug. 12, 2014 at 5:27 pm
I totally understand that! The same thing happened to me this past year, you're not alone in this. And I love your style of writing. Honest, without overdoing it :)
 
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