Now I Believe…

This I used to believe that I could do everything by myself. That I could get over struggles by myself. That I could pass the test by myself.

In 6th grade I started getting really strong headaches in the mornings. I would just put my head on the table and cry a little until it went away. They kept going on into 7th grade so my mom brought me to the doctors and I was diagnosed with migraines with auras. I would never know when was coming or how much it would hurt, but I sucked it up and got over it. In 8th grade I didn’t get migraines very often so I thought maybe they were going away. I thought I was making them go away.

But then I got a wake up call. In the beginning of 9th grade everything was going great. I was on the soccer team and I was pretty good at it. My grades in school were in the high 90’s and my teachers liked me. Then one day in Bible class I got my aura, so I went down stairs to get my medication and lay down. Well after 45 minutes I didn’t get any pain so I decided to go up stairs and finish English class. Right as I sat down in my seat BAM! it hit me. I thought I was going to die. No exaggeration. After that class ended I went home. It was too much too bear. From then on I started getting two migraines a week. I couldn’t take it, I’m only 14. I broke down and realized I couldn’t do it on my own and cried out to God. I told Him I was giving it to Him and that it was too much for me to handle. I also told him that it hurt. It hurt so much.

My whole life people told me and my parents how mature I was. How I acted like kids who were older than me. Now here I am crying out like a little girl to God telling Him how much my head hurts. Like a little girl after scraping her knee has her Father carry her so I realized I could do nothing to help myself but ask my God to carry me through this.

Matthew 18:3-4
“And he said, ‘I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the Kingdom of Heaven. Therefore, whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the Kingdom of Heaven.’”