my life story

May 14, 2012
By , amery, WI
On May 24th, 1995 a new baby was born into this beautiful world, and her name was Ashley, and that is me. At 6 pounds and 7 ounces, I was a gift to my mother Melissa. As a toddler, I was one adventurous little runner and had an imagination that’s unique, and out of three siblings, Ashley was the only girl. It was hard trying to fit in with my brothers and do whatever they did, and it seemed that whatever I tried to do always seem to be wrong. Due to family issues there was only one brother left and his name is Michael. He was a unique brother and the only one who accepted me for who I was and let me play with him. After we grew older we had a hard life that started when Michael got too old to help and play with me. I was heartbroken after Michael didn’t want to play games with me anymore because he got crude and scary towards me and hurt me every day. I still saw my brother in him, but he had just changed. I cried myself to sleep thinking every night about how my brother changed and how much I got hurt by him. I knew that if he saw me cry that it would show him my weakness, and I didn’t want that so I cried to myself listening to the song “Cry” by Rihanna.

When we moved in with my grandma and grandpa in Sparta, Wisconsin from Siren, Wisconsin, We left because our house wasn’t working and it was too expensive to live in we moved. When I started school there in Sparta, things started getting sour; my mom abandoned me and my friends were killing themselves. I had nothing else to do no one to go to. That’s when I ended up in the hospital for attempting suicide for my first time .What made me attempt was because of all the stress and being overwhelmed with school and my friends’ suicides. I just thought it would be better to end the suffering. That is how I ended up in a foster home in 2009. After being there for about a year, I started acting up because they did not treat me like the rest of the foster children they had. Because I thought my dad changed out of his old ways, I wanted to go live with him. When I did, I thought to myself, “That wasn’t a very good idea” because he hadn’t switched from his old ways at all. Mark (my dad) started beating me for no reason at all; sometimes he would beat me for saying something out of place or swearing on accident. This occurred several times a day and he would even do it to my brother Michael, he just didn’t abuse them as much as it would be done to me, just because he did not look like my mom, but Mellissa and I did. He hates my mom so I just reminded him of her when he looked at me. Therefore, I went to school depressed and never safe in my own home because of all the abuse that was going on.

That’s not the only thing that went on. A year later this still was going on, and I got raped while I was there by Mark’s girlfriend’s son Austin, and the molestation started by Mark with me and another little girl that was there, this happened several times a day to us. She hadn’t experienced this before so she thought it was a game, and he was” tickling” her but he wasn’t. None of this happened to my brother or anyone else that was there, and the thing is I told people and the cops but they told me that it was ok to punish your child like that as long as there’s no bruises, but I had bruises, and they did nothing about it. They said, “They did not have enough evidence to put him away”. That year I tried to commit suicide again because I did not want to live with the pain and agony of being molested every day and being forced to have sex when I did not want to. That’s when I finally got the guts to tell someone when I was in the hospital that I was getting abused in every single way possible. It was hard to leave for one reason only and that was my brother Michael, because I love him to death, and I did not want it all to be put on him.

After I was in the hospital for two weeks, they found me an all girls’ group home here in Amery. That would be until they found me a foster home and until I improved my ways. That is how I ended up in Amery, Wisconsin. This was going to be a long wait I told myself because I had many problems that needed to be fixed. That would take a lot of time. I always thought it was my fault that I was given a bad life, but now that I look at it, it’s not just my fault. It’s my parents fault for most of it, because I wasn’t shown how you are supposed to be and this and that.

Therefore, I grew up in a tough situation that was not good for either of us. My brother Michael, for him it was hard to go through this and also trying to protect me. He knew he wasn’t doing a very good job at it but I loved him for trying and I loved the way he treated me. No matter what, I will never forget the relationship Michael and I had together, and he will always be my brother. Although he and I do not talk anymore, he is still in my heart and with me where ever I go. It has been hard growing up without my brother and being in the group home but I manage, the only thing that gets to me while being there, is the all girls’ situation. Me trying to be nice to girls that I have to live with, well now that’s funny. It’s very hard on me and very stressful; it’s amazing that I can even manage over at the group home. I do not get along with girls at all, not the tiniest bit. They’re too full of drama and so much anger. They cause too much drama over the smallest things it’s so annoying. Although I hate girls I still have one best friend that’s a girl from Sparta. Where I used to live, and she’s been there for me through all of this, and that’s one thing that I like about girls is that they’re always there for you.

Although I do enjoy the town of Amery, it is a small little town. I really do enjoy it, because I love the way people treat you and how they do not judge you right away when you get to the town. They actually want to meet you first, and then they will judge you upon how you act and how your first impression is.

From all the towns I have been in and I have been in about five different schools/towns this is about the best school and town I have been to my whole life I give props to Amery. If I had chosen my life, it would have to be this one but with a little less horror in it; because I would never have met the people that are helping me. I would not change it for the world. If I had to choose either to stay or not to stay in Amery, I would choose to stay. Unfortunately they found me a foster home in Rice Lake, Wisconsin. That is where I’m going to live next when I’m done with school I’ll be moving there right after school ends. I’m happy to move out of the home, but I’m not happy to move away from this little town. I’ll miss you all. I want to say thank you to my teacher Mrs. C, for teaching me and giving me the best year of my life. Also I want to say thanks to my group home for being here for me and I want to say thanks to Journey for giving me one on ones and for teaching me things about myself that I didn’t know before. THANK YOU!





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