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Your heart’s racing, your palms are sweating, and your tongue is twisted. You’re always saying everything wrong or right, or somewhere in between maybe. Or everything you’re saying never makes any sense at all.
But isn’t love just that?
A confusing and crazy sensation that you get when your guy stands in front of you and says “Hey,” or flips his hair around because it’s always in his eyes. Maybe it’s the sensation you get when you watch him run his fingers through his freshly cut hair that you begged him not to cut but he did anyway and now you’re starting to like it.
Or it’s when you hear him say “I love you,” for the first time. Your heart melts. Or maybe it’s when he kisses you for the first time. It might even be when he calls you “Baby,” or “Cutie pie,” and everything in between.
Maybe it’s the sensation you get when he tells you he’s hesitant to fall in love but you know he will anyway so that’s why you always keep a fresh supply of patience and faith in your pockets…
Faith that he will fall and you’ll be there to catch him. Faith that maybe, instead, you’ll fall so hard together that you’ll never want to or can get back up. You’ll just lie there together and he’ll take his arms and wrap them around you, trying so hard to heal all the wounds and pain that came with falling.
Because falling is hard, harder than anything you’ve ever had to or will do in your life. Or maybe it’s just the easy part. Maybe the hardest part is the pain and the anger and the anxiety that comes along with it. When you step back sometimes and just say, “Hey… maybe it’s time we took a break.” but you know he won’t let you go because you mean more to him than anything else on this earth and maybe even everything within and beyond it, and he to you.
When he says “Forever,” and you know he’s not kidding.
He’s serious; serious about you; serious about his life and his life with you. Serious that he loved the life he had before you but would never want to ever again live a life without you. Serious that maybe one day you will grow up and he’ll propose then you’ll be married and then you’ll have kids and they’ll grow up to be married and have kids then one day you’ll be old together and then so will they with theirs.
That sure it confusing, all of it; he’s really confusing; but things always become more complicated than what they seem to be.
When they tell you that you’re naïve and silly, you could never possibly be together forever. Maybe not but a girl can dream and try and pray and cry and stop for a moment and say, “Hey, maybe that’s what my life and my world are destined to be.” Don’t ever give up and keep trying. Things will always work out, they have to.
Those nonbelievers, the ones who say I’m naïve and silly for loving have never loved the way I have and have never gotten as much love as I do. Maybe it was their parents or some girl or boy who ripped their heart out and took their belief with them.
Maybe they’re in love and it’s just not working out for them. Maybe they’re lost in all the confusing and their heads are still spinning. But mine isn’t and they shouldn’t make me believe it is.
He’s my world. I sure hope he always will be.