The Home Away from Home

April 22, 2012
By Tyra Hoke BRONZE, Amery, Wisconsin
Tyra Hoke BRONZE, Amery, Wisconsin
1 article 0 photos 0 comments

How would it feel if your mom told you at sixteen years old that your father isn’t your biological father? I went to West Virginia to see my family and friends to have a good time. When I went to my moms, and after she left from work. She dropped this big bomb on me. I didn’t get why she would tell me then, but in true honesty, I wish that she didn’t tell me at all.

It was Saturday April 7, 2012, I had just come from my friend Lindsey’s house. Dreama, my grandma, was taking me to go meet my sister Chelsea. Chelsea picked me up, and we went up the mountain where my mom works. Its been awhile since I have been with my sister, so we were chit-chatting away. We got to the top of the mountain, and Chelsea and I went in. Mom gave me a big hug, and then she finished up with what she was doing. She takes care of Mary Wickline. Which we are related to them. I just don’t remember how. I sat down and waited for mom to get done with what she was doing. After she was done, we went to drop Chelsea off at work. We just started down the mountain, and my mom said to me, “Honey, we have to talk about something.”

“What mom?” I replied, “Just talk to me mow while we have some time.”

I was worried at first because I thought that it was something serious. My mom had me worried, very worried. I thought my mom was sick with cancer, or something. What she told me wasn’t as important as she thought it would have been.

“Well, you have another grandma,” she said with eagerness.

“What do you mean that I have another grandma, Mom?”

I thought that my mom was talking about that she finally had some contact with her dad. But at that point, I knew something was going to happen. I just didn’t know what. I was sitting there, and I finally said, “What do you mean that I have another grandma?”

“Honey, I’ll explain more clearly. You know Charlie?”

“Yes, he’s my uncle.” Then Chelsea jumped in quickly and said to me, “He’s your real uncle! He’s more yours than mine and Hannah’s.”

“Sweetie, Charlie’s brother Wayne is your biological father. I mean, it’s not going to change the way you feel about Jerry (my father), but Wayne is your biological father.”

At that point my head was rushing like the speed of light; I didn’t want to believe it. I have been lied to before by my own Mother. This could have been one of them too. I was scared, I didn’t want to cry, but all that I could do was cry. I couldn’t stop. My mom wanted to talk about it, but I didn’t want to hear it at all. I wanted to scream and runaway from all of it. I thought that my mom did it out of spite to my dad. Maybe because he wouldn’t do something for her.

“Mom, how could this be? Why would you tell me now. I’m sixteen years old and now your getting around to telling me this,” I said with an angry voice.

“Sweetie, I thought that you needed to know the truth about this. You were going to find out sooner or later. I wanted to be the one that told you.”

“Mom, I don’t care okay, it would have been better If you wouldn’t have had told me at all.”

We dropped off Chelsea at work. We went to go pick up my other sister at her house and her baby girl Katielynn. We were driving to Covington, VA and we talked about how this wouldn’t effect me at all. In reality everything now that is around me isn’t a part of me, biologically. Mom and I were talking and said to me, “Tyra are you okay? I’m sorry that it had to be this way.”

The anger built into me and I just cracked and I yelled at my mom and said, “MOM, why did you tell me at sixteen years old, you could have told me when I could understand more.”

She started to say something, but then she held her tongue. We pulled up to Hannah’s house. Mom and I got Hannah and Katielynn, and then we headed back to the house. We chatted about the experience of meeting my biological father.

Hannah said to me, “Tyra why won’t you just go and see them? That’s what you owe them. If you meet them, then maybe you would have a different life then the one that you have now.”

“But I don’t want to, I don’t care at all. The people that I’m living with are the ones that I love, and the only family that I will ever communicate with,” I said very agitated.

Hannah got mad at me. My mom just come out of the shower and they started to talk about Hannah’s father. Hannah said that she didn’t want to ever talk to her father again. I said to her, “It’s not good not to talk to your dad.”

“Why don’t you take your own advice, little sister?” said Hannah.

“Well, I didn’t know that I had a biological father until today,” I said.

I rushed out the door and walked down the street a little ways. I called a friend because I needed a friend at the moment. She really cared about me, that she hung up. Then she texted that there wasn’t any service even though there was. Before all of this went down that day, we had a fight a couple days ago. Five to ten minutes later my mom finally realized, that wasn’t in the yard. I walked down the street all by myself. She got in the car and drove down the rode to see where I was. She picked me up and went to the house to get cigarettes. Then we drove down to my biological grandma’s house. She went to open my door and I said to her, “Why are you guys pushing this so much on me.” “Pushing what honey? Just come inside and meet her.”

After I met her, I was still in the emotional stage and at the angry stage too. I was mostly angry at my mom for telling me. Even without talking to my dad about it. Mom and I took Katielynn and Hannah back to their house. We went on and after that I just couldn’t get it out of my head. When I got back to Grandpa’s house and I told Dreama about it. She got very mad. Dreama didn’t know anything about it. I told her that I don’t want to talk about it anymore, until I get an answer from my dad. I didn’t believe my mom because she has lied to me multiple times before. So, I wanted the truth from my Dad. My dad will tell me because he wouldn’t lie to me.

I went on the plane April 11, 2012. I asked my Dad if he could pick me up at the airport so we could talk. When I landed in Minneapolis, I was very nervous. I didn’t know what to say to him. How was I going to approach him with the question that I had for him? Sarah, my step mom, picked me up at the gate and we walked down to the baggage claim. When I saw him I was thinking to myself, what would he do if I asked him? Then we grabbed my bag and went to find our cars. It took us awhile to get to my dad’s truck, because he forgot where he parked it. I said goodbye to Sarah and hopped into Dad’s truck. Then we headed off on the highway. Then I asked him, “Dad, can I ask you a question? I just want you to know that nothing would change whatever the answer might be.”

“Sure sweetie, I’ll answer any question that you have for me,” he answered.

“Dad are you my real father?”

“You are my daughter no matter what you mother says,” he replied.

At that point I was agitated and said to him, “I just want a straight answer, a simple yes or no dad, please,” I asked.

“No honey, I am not your real father, your biological father is 99.99% your father. I love you so much.”

I broke out into tears because at that moment I just heard the truth from my own Dad. What was I supposed to do, I knew that my life doesn’t stop just because of one thing. My dad and I spent the weekend together and our relationship became closer. I know now that no matter what, he will always be there for me.

After all what happened on my vacation. The rest of my vacation wasn’t really good. I thought about everything. How could it be different, who knew about this, and why didn’t they tell me the truth about it. I think to myself, “Should I meet him or should I just not and leave it be.”

I really don’t want to know this. The dad that I have is the best Dad in the world. I wouldn’t change that. I would be stupid to neglect him when he has been there for me since I was two. I love the people that I’m with and I wouldn’t change that either.

The author's comments:
I wrote this because I thought that maybe I could express my feelings. I hope that you learn that no matter how hard something gets you'll get through it by your family.

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