When you come out and say I love you, I want to believe what you say. But the reality of it is that I can’t. The lies and tales that you told me mean nothing to you. They mean everything to me. You used to mean everything to me. The thought of having you beside me again, having me in your arms like you will never let go, is what I want. It was what I wanted for the longest time. You crushed every possible dream I had. I tried to manage with what you gave me and I tried to handle the pain you caused. The lies and stories you told me while you were away I wanted to believe, but I knew in my heart they weren’t. The imagination you have is one of the qualities that I used to love. You would tell me stories of the sweet little boy who always watched this girl from afar. Of how the little boy would wait for her everyday just to see her. The little girl had no idea that the boy was madly in love with her but she continued to have the time of her life hanging out with him. It seemed that my life could have been content but that little boy ruined it. The little girl had her entire life planed out with him and he did not. One minute she was the world to him and the next it was over. That is my life and because of you I can never be fully healed, I can never let anyone come to my rescue. Now you want me back and I wont let it happen. You did this to yourself, not me. I used to love you. I used to want you. I used to be hurt by you, but no longer will I be that little girl. I don’t love you anymore.
I Love You
April 16, 2012