Perfect Letter

March 7, 2012
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Long time no see.

When you told me I had lady hands?
And held them beneath yours
Covered in calluses
And grime?

Well I learned to love them
After that
Because you told me they

When you laughed because I
Sucked my belly in
As far as it would go?
Just to see if I was skinny or not?
And you told me that I was pretty
Even if I was full of bones.
And I learned to love that
You thought that I was pretty

When you smiled at me
Because I had a silly laugh
It was a high, tinkling sound
And it drove my parents nuts
But you said that you liked it
And I learned to love it
Because it put a smile on your face

Well, all these things
Are small pieces of what made me
Love you
All those years ago
But I promised
That I'd never leave you
But I tucked tail and ran away
And yet you're the one that's guilty
For being unable to tell me
What you wanted to say
You're the one that's guilty
For slowly walking away?
If you are the one so guilty
Why is there a gnawing pain inside
Screaming and trying to rip out
Why is there this constant sadness
That whispers, "If only..."
Why do I feel so guilty
If you claim you're so guilty
Why am I the one that wants to cry?
I love you
It's my fault I let you go
I never tried to show you
The truth
I was afraid of you
Afraid of what you'd do
Afraid of what you'd say
Afraid to hurt again

Loving Dearly,
A Long Lost Friend

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