I shudder as I feel the medicine racing through my veins, taking over my body. I somehow make it to my bed before I draw in a shuddery breath and the pain erupts. I struggle to breath as my heart speeds up, beating like a scared rabbit. I squeeze my eyes shut and wish away the pain. Every breath becomes a challenge as the pain flows in rhythm with my lungs. My body is shaking so bad that I’m afraid my arms might fall off. I curl up in a ball, hoping this will stop it all. My lungs tiredly try to force oxygen into my cloudy brain, but it’s useless and I know it. I feel the familiar sense of falling and finally let the hot tears that were collecting behind my eyes fall. I feel my breath hiccup as the panic attacks my mind. One, two, nothing. My lungs stop and I count the seconds. Forty-eight before my brain takes over and my lungs draw in another excruciating gulp of air. I feel the tears burn rivers into my cheeks and let myself be overtaken by my mind. I lay there, sobs and shaking wracking my tiny form. Then black, complete and utter black.
March 2, 2012