Dear...Well, you know who you are

February 24, 2012
By , Edmonton, Canada
Dear... Well you know who you are,
I don't want to waste my time saying “I miss you mom" and all that because I don't really miss you. I'm just going to get right to the point of why I am writing this to you! Well we moved to the middle of nowhere three years ago, I was out voted 4 to 5, so we left. You promised if one person said "no" we wouldn't move, that was your first lie!
A couple months after we moved from the big city to the middle of nowhere, I only made 1 friend. The rest of the people bullied me. You always asked how was school, i would reply fine and we would go on with our days and no talk much. You always talked to my brother and sister more, why did you ignore me all the time? You knew I wasn't okay but it was as if you didn't care at all.
A year went by and I was bullied even more, almost to the point of wanting to cut or even commit suicide. I always stopped myself though, thinking that things will get better, was I ever wrong!
A year and a half went by and I was bullied even more for being a city kid and for being different from everyone else, most of all for being shy. I started to get depressed, even more depressed than the beginning of the year. Around this time I started to date this boy, I really liked him but you didn't! You didn't even want me to date him; I think that's why I liked him as much as I did. He used me though mom, he used me to get near you. He really liked you, so did all of the other guys, I should know better than to bring boys around you! They all fall for you and that's why I'm scared to introduce you to my current boyfriend, I don't think anything will happen but who knows. Anyways he dumped me because he realized he couldn't get into my pants or close to you! This caused him to push me into lockers and people to bully me even more.
The second year came and I started to cry myself to sleep daily but you never noticed. You never noticed that anything was wrong. Even if you did, you fell for the same excuse over and over again. "I miss my dad”, "I'm just tired" or "It's nothing really!" And you would drop it without any other words. You never realized I was pulling away from friends and I stopped going out, Well you either noticed and didn't care or you didn't notice. How could you not notice I stayed in my room and wrote a lot? How I would rarely do anything outside the house? How I started getting into fights with friends? How I actually started to stand up for myself? You were to into your friends to notice that I wasn't doing anything a normal teenager would do.
The third year I started to hate everything! I hate how I had no body to talk to, how i trusted nobody, how depressed I was, how no one noticed something was wrong, and how happy people were. I really hated happy people! I hated couples too! Couples were always happy, they have someone to talk to, someone to hug, someone to calm them down when they cried; I wanted that so badly which made me hate them more! Yes I was in a stupid long distance relationship, I should have broken it off sooner but I didn't and I honestly regret it. I couldn't stand anything! The bullying got worse; I started to cry all the time. Sometimes I couldn't even walk to school without almost crying, I almost got into a bunch of fights, and you distanced yourself from us, you started to drink and hang out with your friends a lot! And it seemed as though you flirted with a lot of guys and you were married. You got a divorce though, and went after some younger guy. You never noticed how unhappy I was, That one day I wanted the piercing and you said no. You want to know why I was sad and acting like I did? Because I was showing what I was actually like! You never noticed though, Do you really think I was that selfish has to have done that over one stupid piercing! Really what kind of girl do you think I am!? You never caught onto the hint though; you called me selfish and moved on.
Since I haven't seen you since July let me catch you up on things. I'm happier than ever! I have an amazing boyfriend, I have the perfect amount of alone time, and I’m not getting yelled at all the time. Mom you yelled at me way too much, and Makenna usually did whatever you yelled at me for. I'm doing great here, and that's the truth! I like not having to deal with you going out all the time, and not having to clean up all the time in the mornings. I'm glad I'm not getting yelled at for something stupid or something I didn't do! I really am and I’m having the time of my life here.
Love your daughter

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