My Journey

By , Everson, WA
I sat there. Hearing, not listening to everything going on around me. The laughter, yelling, and talking not phasing me. The sounds were buzzing around me. They were making a nice mellow noise. I was ok with just letting the lives of others fill my ears so I wouldn’t have to myself. The cafeteria was the best part of the day. It was the only time during school I could just not pay attention to them. What was going on in my life was something only a couple people knew. Lets just say they were causing the problems. These people weren’t making a public scene of them pushing me into lockers or stealing my lunch money. It was much worse than that, and being a teenage girl didn’t help either. Everyday there were sly comments being said about how I didn’t look like them, I need to change this about myself, and that I wasn’t good enough. Comments like this wore every ounce of my outer layers of skin away and after a couple months I had nothing to protect my inner self. I was bare to the insults. Day by day I would look for any chance of freedom, and soon enough I found something. Or should I say someone. At first we were just acquaintances going through being left behind for this new girl. of course this gave our friendship we have a good head start to grow rapidly.

I finally got one section of my life going good, but I still had a big dilemma with the other part. I didn’t know how to handle it because I didn’t want people to know my personal life and think poorly of my judgment skills. I was getting to the point where the parts of skin growing back were being rubbed raw all over again. Every defense I put up got knocked down. I had no more spine to keep me up. One day I finally had enough courage, strength, will-power, whatever you want to call it to finally ask them to stop. Seconds after I realized what I did, I knew I wasn’t going to ever forget those words: “why are you making a big deal? We are your friends, as your friend we tell you the truth.” How can telling someone they should be a certain size, and look a certain way, and basically making everything I did, not good enough to have good healthy friendship (I made everything she said nice). I realized that she wasn’t trying to be my friend and she was just getting back at me for some stupid reason I didn’t know yet.

Looking back on it, I didn’t realize how strong I was to show “hey you don’t destroy me as much as you think!”Every day at school. I also wouldn’t have gotten my best friend I have today if it wasn’t for her. Three years ago it was a living hell and now I’m thankful I went through it because it defined the person I am today. I now have better judgment on people, and I can put take the hatred for her aside even if I haven’t gotten completely over it.

She has apologized and to be honest I haven’t fully accepted it because of the physical and emotional pain I went through. Although I don’t think I want to accept it. What kind of person does that to someone just because two years before eighth grade I supposedly did something that hurt her feelings? I am respectful to her and I will never forget it. it makes me who i am though





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