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Teenage struggles of a Outsider

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My name is Umoya B., and I am 16 years old. Well, it is not really important to know but it will help you see where I am coming from. I don’t really know why I am sharing this, but it is safe to say that we as teens do some crazy stuff. So it is also safe to say that I am in no share, way or from popular. You see I always wanted to be popular, to see how it felt to be adored by people, loved by people and to feel important. While wanting popularity, I never thought and stopped to asked myself; why I wanted to be popular in the first place? The real answer to that is that I really have no idea why, but I wanted it, craved it and thirsted for it, because maybe if I had popularity then maybe I would feel good about myself and my life would turn out the way it was supposed to, not this crappy mess. But as I would later discover in life, popularity is not all that it is cracked up to be. I bet I know what you’re ALL thinking how can a girl how has never been popular, tell others about popularity. Well, trust me I know a thing or two about popularity; I am currently in high school and in grade 11. Well it can be fun at times but not so much at others. SO, back to popularity all it is are problems, expectations and pressure. Expectations to act, be and live a certain way and pressures to be thin, skinny and perfect. Who really wants that at the end of the day, hopefully no one? So besides the struggle to be popular, there is struggle to fit in. YOU see I am a total dork, and I can admit it. Well I am not a total dork, but I am nerdy I like to get good grades; I study for tests that people wing and I live to read. Pretty dorky I think, but anyways I don’t really fit in at my high school. I am too weird or something, but I found a group of people who are just as nerdy and dorky as me, so we get along great as for the rest of my high school you all need to learn to accept yourself for who you are. Well, I should not really be saying that because I don’t do it, so why should other people. I struggle to find love, at my high school there are so many couples who seem happy and are in LOVEE. I really want to be in a relationship like so many of my friends, but I don’t want to be in a relationship just to say I am in one and that I have someone. I want someone to love me, care for me and tell their inner most secrets to me, to hold me when I cry and tell me everything is going to be OK. I want them to smile every time they see me, tell me that I brightened up their day, make me feel special, to tell me that they cannot live without me and every day that they are living here on this earth, they would gladly spend it here with me making me happy, and they would crawl to the ends of the earth just to put a smile on my face. But being a teenager, I realized that just because I want this to happen so badly for me it does not mean it is going to happen, when the timing is right it will happen for me. I just have to be patience because God has a special plan for me. Lastly, I struggled with me look, I hate the way I look and how people see me. Well, I guess it is true you are your biggest critic, I learned that I am beautiful inside and out and should appreciate me for who I AM, because I am unique, born one- of a- kind and on one looks the way I do in this world, so I should cherish it. I hope by reading this you learned a lesson about who you are and about the struggles of a teenager and remember that you are not alone in this world, no matter how small your voice is someone will hear you.

P.S. Go forth in this world and shine light and don’t forget to soar your wings when you fly!!!!!



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