Confession to Myself

January 16, 2012
confession for myself to understand is...everyday, i go day by day thinking to myself "why me?" should i be? probably no; but, it's hard not to when you feel like there could be a chance of happiness. i admit; i lie in bed at night snuggled up to a teddy bear, crying my eyes out wondering if the next day could possibly be better than the one before.
sometimes, waking up in the middle of night, sitting in up in my bed with tears in my eyes from a dream, i was hoping would be true. to wake up and look around my room and my faith get shattered by a useless wish that my heart makes.
is it such a bad thing to wish for? to finally...get set with a guy that isn't going to judge me without temptation? it's always the same thing..i like a guy..they only like me as a friend or nothing at all. how can you shatter someone's dreams like that? how can you be such a shattering untrustworthy person? no emotion, no heart. you're nothing but cold as stone.
how am i supposed to have such power to overcome pain...if everyday is a roller coaster of my life? it's downhill from here. this girl is stuck with tragedies and she just lets it all overcome her life.

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