Indescribeable

The simple things in life are always the most magical and the most memorable.
Waking up late after a late night, going through the day feeling half-asleep, he sits by me and as we talk I feel less drained. His positive energy seems to be contagious and I can’t help but smile. In the midst of a sentence he just stops and looks at me. Your hair is out of place, is what he says. Trying to fix my hair, not realizing it was my bangs. He reaches out and gently moves the strands from one side to the other. Tucking them in with the rest he explains how they were on the wrong side. I smile at his friendly gesture. My heart flutters at his sweet touch.
Both feeling nervous for the news to come, our arguments of the last weeks seem to disappear. He goes crazy with anticipation. Inside I’m crying. It’s so far away but will he leave me so soon? Both hope for news, but dread its coming. Hopeful on the outside. Fearful within.
That night, watching him on stage, I hear his voice as he sings. Sitting in the back, shadows covering me, looking without being seen. Looking at him with such longing, feeling my chest tighten, my heart silently breaks. Smiling while being such an idiot. Loving his personality, loving his everything. Afterwards seeking him out, friends realize why I’m here. One speaking of love, as if he can tell, one only saying his name, knowing but not saying. I pretend otherwise, only congratulating a dear friend on performing well. Knowing the truth, speaking with lies.
Keeping his promise, I’m invited to go out with him. We sit at the restaurant, eating ice cream. Talking with his family, feeling content. Notice how much I’m enjoying their company. Stealing his food, he’s acting like he doesn’t care. Eventually he’s sharing his dessert with me. Finally getting up to leave. Standing by his car we’re talking some more. Eventually we head home, I receive his message. He’s not going. I start to cry. Mixed feeling pulling in different directions. He is disappointed, crushed. How am I happy? He is not leaving me just yet. How am I sad? Relief overwhelms all other feelings. My best friend, the man I think I’m falling in love with, is not going away. He’s staying here, near me. Not by choice but through God’s will and His amazing grace.
The simple things in life are always the most magical and the most memorable. A sweet touch. A funny moment. A little success. An easy conversation. Magical times. Memorable moments.





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