We Struggle in Life to Make Us Stronger

January 15, 2012
How many times in a lifetime do you cherish what you have? Does anyone just sit back and say, “Thank you for everything I have.” Not many people do and until something happens to take that away, they never will. I learned this the hard way. I had seen many people tear their ACL’s but I never thought I would tear mine. I did. I tore it completely. I have never felt so helpless.

It was September 21st, 2011. We were playing a soccer game against one of our rival schools. Nothing was any different. I went to school that day, I took a nap, I drove to the game, and we warmed up. It was the same as it was on any game day. Except this time I was playing forward. It was the second half. We still hadn’t scored and by this time in the season, we were scoring two or three goals by halftime. I really wanted a goal this game. I was trying my best to get one.

I won the ball in the 18 yard box. I took a shot at the goal. It was deflected, but as I took the shot I was in the air. Before I came down, I was knocked off balance. As soon as I broke ground, my foot turned in and my knee rotated. That’s when I heard the pop. It was the sound you hear when someone pops ones knuckles, but yet it didn’t feel like that at all. It was an instant pain but not a normal pain. It was a burning sensation. Just like Icy Hot. I have never felt anything like it. Then the pain just went away. It went completely numb. The instant shock of the pain was gone and I couldn’t feel anything. Over and over in my head I kept saying, “Please don’t be torn.”

Marti, the trainer, rushed over and she checked my knee and said, “What happened?”

I said, “It popped and now it’s numb. I can’t even feel it.” I think she knew at that moment but she never said so.

My coach came over and he and Marti carried me off of the field. I lay down on the side of the field away from my teammates but that didn’t stop them from coming to see me. Emily a teammate came over and sat right next to me.

She kept saying, “It’s going to be okay Deeds. I promise you. Whatever happens, I’ll be right here with you.”

She didn’t leave my side. She held my hand and told me it would be okay because she knew exactly what I was going through. The pain had subsided, but that didn’t keep away the fear, the fear that I wouldn’t play again and the fear that basketball was over for me. I couldn’t handle it. I couldn’t hold back the tears any longer. I started to cry. That’s the moment my life changed forever.

I didn’t go to school the next day. I couldn’t. I couldn’t put any pressure on my right leg at all. I was scared out of my mind. I had to go to the doctor. When I got there, the doctor moved my knee around and tried to see if it was in place. He couldn’t tell because he said that you can usually only do those tests right after it happens. He ordered an MRI for me.

Right before we stepped out of the office he said, “This is just a minor setback.” Right then I knew something was wrong. I think my dad knew it too but neither one of us said anything. We got into the car and drove to the hospital.

It took forever to finally get my MRI. We sat in the waiting room for over an hour. The whole time I sat there all I could think about was my future and my dream to college basketball. I tried to keep my mind off of it by talking to my dad or reading, but it was just too hard. Then it finally was my turn to go back. It was my turn to see if I was right or wrong and I was really praying I was wrong.

I hated that MRI. Sitting still for so long is miserable and that noise was awful. It was like a sledge hammer drilling into concrete. Of course they play music for you but you can’t even hear the music because it’s so loud. When I left the room, they said I could wait for the results or we could go home and wait for them to call. We just went home.

They never called. We waited and waited until finally my mom called the doctor’s office and said that we had to wait until the morning. Oh I did not sleep well that night. I tossed and turned. I had to go to school the next day also. I didn’t want to but then again I didn’t want to be sitting at home alone when I found out the news I didn’t want to hear. So I went to school. Everyone at school kept asking if I knew yet and of course, I didn’t. It was the worst pain ever not knowing if I would be okay or not. I went to my second class of the day, English class, and that’s when I saw my counselor, Mrs. Hicks, walk by the door.

At first I thought she was just walking by, then I saw her peek her head in the door and say, “Hi. Can I talk to you for a minute?” The look on her face didn’t tell me she had good news to share. I got up and walked outside the classroom with her.

The first thing I said was “Is it torn?” and then she said it; she said that one little word that changed everything. She said, “Yes.” That’s when I lost it. I cried my eyes out.

From that moment on, I knew I would have to be strong and that I would have to be as tough as I’ve ever been. It will probably be one of the hardest things I will ever but I know I’ll get through it. So for the next six months the most common phrase I’ll hear or say is, “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” I know I can. It’s my destiny to become great and that’s what I will do.





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