As life life walks by it seems to mock and laugh at the despair its givin me. Day after day the same things happen; I'm mocked and picked on for being labeled as "gay" or "emo". I don't understand the fact on why they do such things to people, as for my personal experience for has this been life changing. I have learned that people will always discriminate on sexuality and how you look. In my experience with this I thought I saw it all. But I was very wrong. I have been verbally and physically hurt for my sexuality and how I dress. People will always be mean and cruel to others, I see that now. When this was happening to me I didn't seek help from others. Instead I sought out the pain with self harm. This self harming went on for months and got worse as time passed. For the people who made me feel like I was smaller, like nothing and that my life had no meaning the saw what i did to myself because of them. They saw in gym class on day because I refused to get changed in front of them like all the guys would, they kicked open the stall and saw what I have done. From that point on it was worse than you could ever imagine. Finally one day i broke down in lunch and just ran out and slide against the wall in a ball and cried. That day everyone found out why they were making fun me for. That day everything got worse, i would be pushed and called names like "emo Faggot" or they would say malicious things such as “go kill yourself" and” go cut yourself til you bleed and die”. I would be followed down the street and threats would come from behind me like "we are comin for you emo so you better run". This got to the point to where I couldn't leave my house for I was too scared. So finally my dad found out about everything, which made things worse because my dad was going through his second divorce. I was taken to a special hospital where I was evaluated for help. Things have gotten better since i have moved away from those people, but bulling is there, I have learned to deal with it without self harm.
Day after day
January 13, 2012