Confessions

There is a secret in my stomach. I am freaking out at this moment because I don’t know how to tell you. I fear of the results it will bring if I do. If I tell you how is this going to affect our friendship? I mean, were best friends. Trust me I never thought I would get any feelings towards you at all…no offense but it’s the truth. Best friends are not supposed to like each other…are they? I don’t think they are! I’m pretty sure they aren’t but I have like…I umm well I can’t tell you. I can’t do this I’m going to throw up.

Growing up with someone since you were four changes the way you feel toward each other. I remember the day perfectly clear. The day in 3rd grade, we were on our way home from school and you turned around in your seat. You had this weird look in your eyes and I remember yelling at you to get you to stop looking at me. That didn’t stop you because you still kept staring at me. Your eyes, green but not really more like green and brown mixed with a little bit of blue. Yeah I remember that day perfectly. You continued to annoy me like always and you started to smile and you asked me to be your girl friend. When you asked me I got a knot in my stomach! I had never experienced something like this before. Come on I was in 3rd grade I thought having a boy friend was the worst thing that someone could do.

I don’t think I have ever been more freaked out in my life. The bus driver slammed on her brakes and my head smacked right into your hand. I was so embarrassed. All you did was smiled and asked if I was okay. I said yes but that was my bus stop so I zoomed off the bus almost killing myself on someone’s foot. I ran so fast to my mom’s truck. I thought I was going to die! What was I going to say? I didn’t want a boy friend; I didn’t even know how to be a girl friend! How can you be someone’s girl friend when you don’t even know what being a girlfriend is? Ugh the wonders of 3rd grade.

We are older now. But we are still as close as we were back in 3rd grade, but even closer. I don’t know how we became as close as we did but we are so close that I don’t know what I would do without you. If you were not in my life any more I would be like the bug in Gaston when he got put on the plate. Lost. Lost without my best friend. Recently I have had a few changes in myself. I have had a piece of my heart ripped out here and there but I noticed that you were always there to make me feel better. I don’t know why you were there but you were. I have something I should tell you but I’m scared of how you are going to react. This isn’t 3rd grade anymore and I’m not scared to have a boy friend. Now I’m scared to ask someone if they like me too. You probably don’t understand what I am saying but I don’t think I am completely ready to let it spill out of my mouth like puke.

Have you ever been so scared to tell someone how you really felt because you were scared of being rejected? Or maybe you were scared of felling pathetic because they didn’t feel the same way about you. Well that is how I feel at this very second. If I tell this certain someone that I like them it could change things between us forever! I don’t think I could handle things being different. I love them just the way they are. I can’t help but asking myself what if!? What if you feel the same way too? Pshh yeah right. What if you feel all awkward when you’re around me? I can’t stand to let that happen. Ugh I hate this! You know what I’m going to take a chance. I like you and I have since 6th grade but I was scared to tell you but I am telling you now.

I don’t know what you’re thinking at this point but I understand if you feel awkward. I probably would too if I as you. Well I told you and I’m sorry I waited so long because now… you have a girl friend so it’s a little too late. Please don’t say anything until I leave because I can’t even stand the look in your eyes. The same exact eyes, the same exact look as you had in 3rd grade.





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