September 14th, 2010

January 14, 2012

Ready. Set. Go.
Here we go... Getting my mind to blabber again.
I just don't understand it all. It's pointless, if you don't believe in it.Just because of what others think? At least that's what it seems to me. The world is dumb. Like a big f***ing doll house. Only this time most of us get stuck as furniture. Yeah, f***ing furniture. Can't move cause people keep sitting on you. Can't move for yourself cause people move you for themselves. And most of the time you just get in the way, a trash piece everyone wishes they could get rid of but can't cause they promised Great Aunt Rudy that they'd cherish it forever and always. Sure. So all of us furniture pieces get stuck watching everyone else live their lives at the fullest, get annoyed when they start complaining that they hate their lives and that nothing goes right, and then you get used by everyone selfishly. Lovely, just lovely. I just ravish over how my life seems it's going to be.... Great. I'm no better than them though. (Or maybe I'm like a puppet?) Want to be real s***, you're useless, invisible until someone can make use of you. You know the worst part of being a puppet? Knowing that other know you're a puppet and that you're dying, literally dying, to become a real kid, but when the magical wand slips into their grasp, they reject it because they thought it was better for you. Even after you've cried into their shoulders in helplessness and despair. The "best part" is the putting up with yourself. You know you'll be stuck as a wooden toy forever. You know everyone will use you and that you should expect nothing in return. You know you're not supposed to be hurt by what others say to you, because after all you're only just a toy. Toys don't have hearts. So, here we go, onto this stage of life. The curtains draw. Everyone expects you to smile and laugh no matter what. "Because the audience is waiting and don't you remember? Your life is only to please everyone else. No of course it doesn't matter what you think, you thought your life was worth something? What a laugh! You're just a mild toy! A piece of wood to please the crowds! Fool! Lovely, I feel like such an optimist. Goody, goody!
15 minutes is up.
The curtains close.
Smile one last time.
No applause.
The End.

The author's comments:
One of the first days or my 15 minutes of assigned journal writing last year. It was difficult for me in the beginning and I didn't feel very positive about anything, especially myself.

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