When I moved from Colorado to Kansas, life turned upside down. I left all of my friends and family I have lived with for so long, and left. The move was a tough 8-9 hour drive, and when we got there, I thought it was gonna be a good, fresh start.
Only it was not.
School started out okay, and I made some good friends. But then life got downhill when a friend of mine dad wanted me...sexually. It was scary, hard, and I didn't like it at all.
When I found out, I didn't have any way to cope, so I turned to the razor. It helped me cope, but when my parents found out, it wasn't a pretty sight. They were devastated.
But it didn't end there. I started to feel suicidal when the school year got harder and harder to cope with. I lost all interest in all of my favorite things to do. I started to push my family and friends away, and started to listen to music about death and ways to end my life.
But one day, I was looking at songs, and one song stood out. It was by the band that I am in love with right now, and they saved my life. Don't Jump is what it was called. It was the song that saved me from killing myself.
I told my parents about how I felt and what had happened. Well, they found out through one of my friends that I used to be friends with. They thought everything was fine with me.
I wasn't.
I kept on feeling the same way for a long, long time. And my parents kept on finding out. Soon enough, I confronted them and asked if I could go to therapy.
They got me in, and I've been going for about three months now. Its helped a lot since I was in seventh grade. I'm in eighth grade now, almost a ninth grader. And I'm still alive. Thanks to the song, God, and my parents. I am very lucky to have parents like mine, who care so much about me.
I smile for real now, not any fake ones. I live instead of trying to end it. I have a wonderful life, and not a hellish one.
Life is wonderful now. I still have urges to cut, but I fight them off. I think of how my parents would be devastated if I did hit a vein. I think before I do now.