my feelings

By , palatine, IL
In this past year, there have been many things that have happened to me. A lot of them have been good, some have been bad. School, college essays, sports, work, and more were a big part of my life as usual during this time span, making my life as busy as ever. However, during the million things encompassing my life at once, I have never been able to talk about my feelings about them with anyone. Granted, I occasionally talked to my mom and dad about all of these things, but not in depth. I just never felt like I wanted to express my true feelings to anyone. I didn’t think anyone would care about them. This may sound like I have a lot of problems or that I had to overcome some traumatic experience. Both of those things are false. But I do want to talk about how I feel and what these experiences have let me grow as a person. And I am going to do that right now.

I’ll start off with school. Last year was probably, no, definitely the hardest year of school of my life so far. With classes like AP English, AP history, physics, and Spanish, I barely had any time in the evening to relax. I would have to come home and start right on my homework in the hope that I could finish at a reasonable time and still get some much needed sleep. I felt the most stressed out that I had ever felt. My school work, on top of trying to get into clubs like National Honor Society, on top of trying to relax was not the easiest thing in the world to accomplish. I was always tired and stressed, but I never talked to anyone about it. I didn’t want anyone, especially my parents, to get worried about me. However, I knew that if I busted my tail for junior year and got good grades that it would have significant pay outs in the future. And it did, but I’ll get to that later. My senior year of school, on the other hand, has been like a breath of fresh air. The homework load is significantly down, and so is the difficulty level. I figured that I would like to have one year of relaxing before the horrors of college work start. I feel a lot less stressed this year and have a lot more time after school to work out or play basketball or work. It is a nice break before becoming a full time student at my next destination.

My senior year of school may not be the hardest, but writing college essays for about two months straight was one of the most stressful times of my life. I knew that these essays had to be perfect because, after all, they could decide my entire future. Thank God I didn’t have to write an essay for my application to the University of Indiana. That would have made my stress levels skyrocket from an already high level. The University of Illinois and the University of North Carolina, however, were a different story. For Illinois, I started off with a simple essay that I thought had the potential of being pretty good. I brought it into class, and Mrs. Enk thought otherwise. When it was all said and done, I had ended up making seven different revisions to the same paper. Each revision was drastically different from the last. Each night I would come up with a different edition, and each night I felt more and more stressed. In the back of my mind I was still thinking about my Carolina essays as well. In about two weeks I eventually finished both of my Illinois essays and it was time to move on to the Carolina ones. There was even more stress on me to write a good paper for them because of the extreme competition the school has with out of state applications. I felt like I wanted to shout at the top of my lungs and run away. But I kept preserving, and eventually I clicked the “send” button my computer screen and was officially applied to college. I can’t tell you how good of a feeling that was to finally be done with all of those. Now I am just playing the waiting game.

The one thing that has kept my stress levels slightly lower are sports. Sports are what keep me going every day. Not only do I love playing them, but I love to watch them as well. Last year when I was stressed because of my homework amount, I used golf as a well to cope with that. Many days out of the week I would go play golf and, at least for that time period, my mind was off of school. I also play in two different basketball leagues during the winter that I love. Basketball is probably my favorite sport and anytime I get to play it I feel rejuvenated inside. College and professional teams also help me get through a rough week of school. Right now, the Chicago Bulls and the North Carolina Tar Heels are right in the middle of their basketball seasons. I hardly ever miss a game on television, especially since they are both very good this year. I have some of the strongest feelings towards sports, but most people probably already knew that about me.

The last of my feelings goes towards work. I recently got hired at Mariano’s Fresh Market in Palatine. If I thought school was stressful, working is just as bad. I always have to plan out when I can finish my homework on a working day. I have to be on time, alert, and enthusiastic after a long day of school. And lastly, I don’t get home until late! I’ve only been working for about two weeks, but it is still tough work. I wish there was a way to make money without having to do anything. But unfortunately there is not, and having a job is the only way to make a little spending cash so I can do things that are fun. On the bright side, second semester of senior year won’t be too difficult, so I will have plenty of time to focus on my job.

Well there you go. You got to learn a little more about my feelings and me although there weren’t a ton that blew you away. I wanted to let you know how my life was and how I felt about it. I wanted you to get to know me a little better, and hopefully you did by reading this paper. These next couple of years should lots more feelings as I get on with the rest of my life.





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