Can you hear the buzzing?

January 6, 2012
I’d like to make this clear before I start. This monologue is not from a show, or written by a fat cat 30 floors above the ground, it is written by a person who has no other way to explain the feelings that they possess. It is not about girlish drama or how the earth is slowly melting. It’s not about family or the law, and it’s not about anyone, but yourself. Imagine one day you are the happiest person in the world, life is good and a smile freely lies on your face. Now imagine the next day, or the next second, and life is sluggish run. You can’t stop and you can’t go faster, and you are constantly scared about what will happen next, and how it will affect the next second. Now, and though this is the most cliché line in the book….imagine you’re in a room. Full of people, people you know, people you hate, and those few people that you truly love. Now scream, (actor screams) cry, whisper, sing, dance, run, jump, fall. And not one, one, will hear you. See pride is a funny thing, you can have it in yourself, you can have it in other people, you can have it in your f***ing dog if you want. But when you lose it, you lose confidence too... and when you’re in that room full of all those people, with no confidence and no pride and they want to help. You don’t want it, you don’t need their pity, and you don’t want to take their hand and hear, “I’m sorry.”

You are utterly alone, in the swarm.

Can you hear the buzzing?

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