"Awk"

December 2, 2011
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Have you ever notice how awkward human beings can be? Not awkward as in, “OMG, she’s wearing the same shirt as me? Ew. How awk.” No that’s just teenage girl “awkward”. Awkward as in you are literally embarrassed to be in public because of your own actions or you are just plain uncomfortable being around the perpetrator of awkwardness. It is a big part of daily human life, and it can be really amusing when it’s not happening to you.
A true awkward moment is seeing someone talking to themselves in their car or on the street, but then realizing that they are actually talking to their Bluetooth headset after you either laughed at them secretly or responded verbally to them. Then there are the people that randomly turn around and go the opposite direction when they realize they are going the wrong way. They will either stop, mutter something to themselves, and then turn around or they will stop and look at their cell phone to “check the time” and slowly look up and turn around to avoid awkwardness.

Many different types of awkward situations exist out there that inevitably happen to everyone. Pushing a door that says “Pull” or falling/tripping in public are only two great examples of classic public embarrassment. One thing that seems to be on the top of the awkward list though (especially when it happens to you) is telling a “really funny” story and nobody laughs. The only way you can make it the least bit less awkward is if you say, “Oh, well, I guess you just should have been there…” and hope for the best. Other great examples include having to go number two in a public bathroom, spilling something on your pants making it look like you wet yourself, and even the toilet paper tail. Seeing these occurrences is awkward in itself, but the moment you notice it happening to you, the whole world seems to collaboratively put a gigantic dunce hat on your head.

Some things shouldn’t have to be considered awkward, but they always are. Take standing in an elevator for example: elevators are only lifts to different floors, nothing more, but as soon that random stranger steps foot inside the cozy five by five foot room with you, the tides change. You can try hard not to all you want, but you are going to stare at this person out of the corner of your eye the whole time up to floor 12. They will be staring at you too. Someone will eventually clear their throat to break the “awkward silence”.
The music never helps either. Smooth jazz is the best kind of awkward music, like the kind that plays in your grandparents’ bathroom. Sometimes (on rare occasions) the music will be something popular like Lady Gaga. That is even worse. Have you ever tried not to move to the beat of a Lady Gaga song? Try standing still in an elevator when Bad Romance is playing.

Strangers are so awkward. Sitting next to someone on trains and buses is so hard. The difficulty is even high when that person is reading something and you are tempted to read what they are reading. After a while you might just get caught up in their magazine and they will not notice until they have to get off and they ask you to get up so they can leave.

Everywhere you look, something awkward is happening. It can be funny from many different perspectives, but mostly when it happens to someone other than you. Most of the time the situations are physical, but verbal awkwardness is just as unbearable as the rest. The best thing to do is savor the humor behind the awkward moment.





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