No matter what I seem to do, I'm lost and always confused. Sitting at a stand still, with no motion left in me. Stuck in the moment, frozen in time. This world seems to have a hold on me. I cant wrap my thoughts around my pounding head. Not a moment when I can say who I am or where I'm going. So confused. So lost. In a world so much bigger than me, trapping me in its never-ending, dead end mazes, like a bird without its wings. I try and I push, but nothing seems to work. I'm my own distraction, road block in the way of my dreams. I desperately dream for a day when I have my head on straight, can make it through a day without making myself feel down. I lie in bed late at night and whisper into the dark shadows of my room, you can do this stupid. you can do this. Crying myself to sleep, at the dawn of the morning. My tears like dew on the morning lawn, beautiful. Silent. Lost. Confused.
January 4, 2012