I'm scared....I ask him "How do you know?" He tells me "because I know things that you don't, but I'm not allowed to say." That statement on it's own scares me. Like everyone is trying hard not to tell me something. Something I don't know that yet makes me uneasy. I tell him this. He says "not in particular." Does this mean it is something hidden from everyone and not just me? The one thing he has yet to tell me is if I should be as scared as I am. I ask him. Awaiting a reply I wonder and worry about what will come my way if he says yes. If I remain afraid, what will come of tomorrow? Waiting still, I remember his previous words, "Don't worry about the future, have fun." I feel better remembering these words. I can breathe for a moment. I can feel a chill across my skin as all my future thoughts sneak back into my head. I have to shut them out. I have to find a way. I have to learn to think less and live more.
December 30, 2011