It hasn’t hit.

At least not yet.

I don’t know when it will, but probably not anytime soon.

This is the last time I’ll be preparing for winter finals, worrying about having the perfect schedule so I know when to slack off, and when to actually work.

This is the last chance I get to be with the best friends I could have ever made.

This is it.

The best time of my life.

My last year of high school, my last year as a kid, and I don’t feel any wiser.

Yes, I know a bit more than when I started high school, but it hasn’t it yet.

I’m sitting in bed, watching a horrible Vince Vaughn and Reese Witherspoon movie, wondering about how life will be after high school.

My best friend asked me if we would still be best friends once college started, and I said yes.

I meant it, too.

After knowing her for what seems like forever, I honestly don’t think I could have asked for a better friend.

I’m myself around my friends, but with my best friend I’m not afraid to be a total b****, seeing as most people don’t know how mean I can be, she does.

We’ve seen each other through a lot —know, totally cliche— and to be perfectly honest, I’m pretty much banking on us being in rocking chairs telling being totally old badasses.

I don’t think I want anymore friends. I’m happy with everyone that I have around me.

I can’t believe this it.

I’ve been counting down the days since I was 6, literally. I specifically remember when I was in the first grade and I was trying to figure out when I would graduate high school.

And now, here I am.

I don’t want it to be over.

I want more time.

I have about 1-2 weeks until I hear back from two of my early schools, and I’ll be crushed if I don’t get in. I like my other schools, but I don’t want to go anywhere else.

This year started off as “UChicago or BUST!” and now I wonder where I’ll be going next year.

Two of my friends already know where they’re going, and I couldn’t be happier for them.

I’ve known them for about 5 or 6 years, and it’s surreal to know I won’t see them any other time besides break, maybe.

I just want this feeling of uncertainty gone!

I want to know where I’m going, and when I’ll be leaving.

Although I know I’ll cry like a baby the day of graduation, I know I’m going to miss the majority of my senior class.

The thing is, this isn’t the end, it’s only the beginning.

The beginning to a new a life.

A new chapter in the book we call LIFE.

This is only the beginning to sleepless nights, coffee addictions, trips to coffee rehab, and well, lots and lots of work.

This is only the beginning.

That’s all I have to say to myself to get through this.

This is only the beginning.