Elephant's Memory

December 7, 2011
By , Moyock, NC
Abuse. Physical, verbal, emotional, mental, sexual, and a lot more. this is my personal story about being Abused physically, mentally, emotionally, and verbally daily for a year and a half. He was someone who was supposed to be my best friend. And there's no denying he was for a while. And then, things changed fast. He was suddenly drawing back. It stared when he smacked me in the face for the first time. At the time, I thought nothing of it. As time passed it got worse, and a lot more frequent, for a while it was just an occasional punch or kick, I passed it off as a joke a friendly gesture and nothing more. But, the longer it went on- the worse it got, there was kicking, jabbing, smacking, spitting, punching, throwing, biting,choking, bruising and even leaving me to the point where i could barely move. I don't know why i didn't leave sooner. I can still feel his finger nails digging into my arm calling me a w****, a freak, telling me i might as well kill myself because everyone would be better off- as time grew i began to believe those things myself. I remember the flash of immense pain ad his fist glided into my face- knocking me against the concrete wall. To this day i can feel each sharp flash of pain while he relentlessly kicked me while i was on the ground. Choking me until i was blue in the face and almost blacking out. I remember his fake apologies. I forced myself to believe him because i couldn't bring myself to believe he really was a monster. I couldn't begin to fathom it. Every day i smiled and assured him he was forgiven, then later being faced with so much abuse, then in my room alone at night drowning in tears and hurt. Emotionally and mentally beating myself calling myself a looser, weak, and stupid. I can still recall falling asleep hoping never to wake up again, that way i wouldn't have to face him ever again. I remember having to cover the bruises with make up and hide my true pain from my family and friends. I was terrified. I lived like this for so long until i finally broke down on the phone with my grandma. I got out. And even though the monster is gone. His words and actions will forever haunt me. Even though he's gone. He'll always be a part of me. As much as I would like to pretend it didn't happen I know I can't force myself to believe that lie. The monster absolutely destroyed my self-esteem and self-worth. And I know he's gone, he'll never hurt me again, he's stained into my heart, and I don't think I'll ever be able to forget him. When good things happen we savor them, but eventually loose complete memory of them. When things traumatic like this happen, We all have an Elephant's Memory...

Join the Discussion

This article has 55 comments. Post your own now!

xXYourxRainXx said...
Dec. 25, 2011 at 3:28 pm
Thank you so much it's really great to have support from people like you, and others who have written supportive comments it really means the world to me
BroadwayBaby said...
Dec. 21, 2011 at 5:42 pm
This is really very good and I love the part about an elephant's memory. I know what you are going through and this is a perfect description that really puts you in the mindset of the character. When you write you're life story, I'll be the first one in line.
AnjiliSladen said...
Dec. 21, 2011 at 2:13 pm
Really really nicely written. made me tear up.
MiraStorm This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Dec. 21, 2011 at 2:06 pm
That is so sad! I could feel the emotion in the words! you might want to have someone edit the spelling and capitalization and verb tenses
KylaBoo said...
Dec. 21, 2011 at 2:04 pm
Very moving, i hope this is just a piece and not reality.
Inspirus said...
Dec. 12, 2011 at 7:09 am
Hi rain. I'm sorry for all you went through. I'm glad you pulled through and even you have the strength to share you experience. Literature is not only about grammar,you have shown that. Kudos!
AnimaCordis said...
Dec. 11, 2011 at 10:38 am
I feel so bad for you, I'm glad you got out of it even if it did take you a long time. It happens more than I thought, abuse that is. It must feel like a great weight off your chest now, I wish ypu to be strong and move on!
izyfizy said...
Dec. 11, 2011 at 10:33 am
Oh MY GOSHHHH!!! I AM SOOOO SORRY !!!! if ANYBODY treats you that HORRIBLY, leave them. Immediatly. (spelling please?), and just remember: EVERYONE THAT LOVES YOU HERE, WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU. NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS. (because thats how you tell if somebody really loves you, they'll stick with you AND be kind and Loving!) well, izyfizy wuvs yah!!! <3333333333333
youngspeare said...
Dec. 11, 2011 at 10:28 am
Rain..omg! This is awesome, correction it's perfect! I almost shed a tear. Your story has literally touched me..you are so strong for having through all that! Hats off to you!
Neytiri said...
Dec. 11, 2011 at 10:16 am
Wow! That is really mind-bogglingly amazing honey!! Well done. Very emotional but very, very good!! There is literally a tear in my eye babe!! <3<3<3 x x x
Fizza_98This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Dec. 11, 2011 at 10:15 am
en. loveVery nicely writt
Fizza_98This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Dec. 11, 2011 at 10:18 am

uh, what happend to it? It look weird. 


Well I wanted to say that the article is very good & the last 2 lines are really true. 4/5 from me. nice work. :)

destinylover said...
Dec. 11, 2011 at 10:08 am
 as a story it can use some help, spelling issues, grammar. as a true event its pretty sad and yeah read this yall
danceonwater said...
Dec. 11, 2011 at 10:03 am
We all do have painful memories; some more painful than most. Thanks for sharing
Wildflower30 said...
Dec. 11, 2011 at 10:01 am
The analogy is great. And true, we all do have such memories. Mental or no. It's really, really good, sans some spelling mistakes. 
bRealTime banner ad on the left side
Site Feedback