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Elephant's Memory

By , Lynchburg, VA
Abuse. Physical, verbal, emotional, mental, sexual, and a lot more. this is my personal story about being Abused physically, mentally, emotionally, and verbally daily for a year and a half. He was someone who was supposed to be my best friend. And there's no denying he was for a while. And then, things changed fast. He was suddenly drawing back. It stared when he smacked me in the face for the first time. At the time, I thought nothing of it. As time passed it got worse, and a lot more frequent, for a while it was just an occasional punch or kick, I passed it off as a joke a friendly gesture and nothing more. But, the longer it went on- the worse it got, there was kicking, jabbing, smacking, spitting, punching, throwing, biting,choking, bruising and even leaving me to the point where i could barely move. I don't know why i didn't leave sooner. I can still feel his finger nails digging into my arm calling me a w****, a freak, telling me i might as well kill myself because everyone would be better off- as time grew i began to believe those things myself. I remember the flash of immense pain ad his fist glided into my face- knocking me against the concrete wall. To this day i can feel each sharp flash of pain while he relentlessly kicked me while i was on the ground. Choking me until i was blue in the face and almost blacking out. I remember his fake apologies. I forced myself to believe him because i couldn't bring myself to believe he really was a monster. I couldn't begin to fathom it. Every day i smiled and assured him he was forgiven, then later being faced with so much abuse, then in my room alone at night drowning in tears and hurt. Emotionally and mentally beating myself calling myself a looser, weak, and stupid. I can still recall falling asleep hoping never to wake up again, that way i wouldn't have to face him ever again. I remember having to cover the bruises with make up and hide my true pain from my family and friends. I was terrified. I lived like this for so long until i finally broke down on the phone with my grandma. I got out. And even though the monster is gone. His words and actions will forever haunt me. Even though he's gone. He'll always be a part of me. As much as I would like to pretend it didn't happen I know I can't force myself to believe that lie. The monster absolutely destroyed my self-esteem and self-worth. And I know he's gone, he'll never hurt me again, he's stained into my heart, and I don't think I'll ever be able to forget him. When good things happen we savor them, but eventually loose complete memory of them. When things traumatic like this happen, We all have an Elephant's Memory...




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This article has 53 comments. Post your own!

vail09 said...
Jan. 4, 2012 at 1:20 pm:
this is just like me and my freind...i mean..thank you...i could ever let myself tell anyone this..
 
xXYourxRainXx replied...
Jan. 5, 2012 at 2:49 pm :
No problem:) Defiantly get out of the situation if you're in it just find help:)
 
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Naman said...
Jan. 4, 2012 at 1:01 pm:
well written..just have a little faith!
 
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BellaChance said...
Jan. 4, 2012 at 12:51 pm:
stay strong. keep writing. keep smiling. great job.
 
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alexb42621 said...
Jan. 3, 2012 at 2:59 pm:
What's even more amazing is you had the courage and the will power to tell someone. Too many people keep it bottled up inside and they end up imploding. Also, prison or whatever happened to him doesn't do justice to what he put you through. Only if he goes through that will he fully understand what he's done. And that's the sad truth. That the abuser usually never is the victim, so they can never fathom how they greatly altered the other person's mentality and self esteem.
 
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MiraStorm This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jan. 3, 2012 at 12:16 pm:
i love the way you tied it in with the cool phrase "elephant's memory". it was very well written!
 
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EmmettLaFave said...
Jan. 2, 2012 at 7:57 pm:
Very well done and emotional. Makes me feel bad about all those freshman I beat up every day.
 
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alexb42621 said...
Jan. 2, 2012 at 7:54 pm:
Oh my god. I have a friend who went through the exact same thing. Seeing her feel the guilt kills me. She thinks it's her fault. How do you get over the guilt? Have you gotten over it? If you have can you give her some advice about it? It worries me, seeing her like this. It was so unfortunate that this wasn't in Fiction.
 
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WolfofRoses said...
Jan. 2, 2012 at 7:45 pm:
This was very interesting. Great wtiting too.
 
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xXYourxRainXx said...
Dec. 31, 2011 at 12:17 pm:
It's not a story it's actually happened, i didn't want to add names out of courtesy for the "monster
 
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Jappyalldayeveryday said...
Dec. 29, 2011 at 2:15 pm:
This is powerful. Maybe give the best friend and main character names, making it more personal? Do you think you could check out my short story History Project?
 
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DreamInTheRain said...
Dec. 29, 2011 at 1:41 pm:
This brought tears to my eyes because I could never EVER imagine the pain you went through. A best friend... That horrid..
 
DreamInTheRain replied...
Dec. 29, 2011 at 1:42 pm :
Oh and I cant say Im sorry, because thats HIS job and his job alone, but i can say that when your broken, it takes time to mend, but you'll be happy your whole... :) I feel pain too because of my past, but sometimes the past can help make a better future, if u want
 
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Studio_Ghibli-O said...
Dec. 29, 2011 at 1:21 pm:
Ugh! Freaky! I can't imagine what it would be like if *my* best friend abused me. That would be a really dramatic and horrible change :(
 
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RandyA. said...
Dec. 29, 2011 at 1:21 pm:
great writting.. am impressed. sorry for everything that happend. Its good the monster is out of your life, even thou u still leave with the fear and memories, at last ur free. good you came out to let ur grandma know, u waited to much but it good to have patienc somehow. he really hurt u
 
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rainbowbutterflyThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Dec. 29, 2011 at 1:14 pm:
thats really good
 
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writerchicka said...
Dec. 29, 2011 at 1:08 pm:
This is really good writing. There are tears in my eyes.
 
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InvisibleHeart said...
Dec. 27, 2011 at 8:37 pm:
Very powerful. Brilliant work
 
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HiddenAngelInTheDark said...
Dec. 27, 2011 at 8:33 pm:
I can relate in a way its very beautiful n deep in emotion please keep writing
 
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xXYourxRainXx said...
Dec. 25, 2011 at 3:28 pm:
Thank you so much it's really great to have support from people like you, and others who have written supportive comments it really means the world to me
 
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BroadwayBaby said...
Dec. 21, 2011 at 5:42 pm:
This is really very good and I love the part about an elephant's memory. I know what you are going through and this is a perfect description that really puts you in the mindset of the character. When you write you're life story, I'll be the first one in line.
 
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