The Deep End

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Everything is blocked out, my cell phone, Facebook, friends, family, even the person sitting right next to me. Nothing else mattered in that moment while I poured out anything and everything to God. I was at MMC Conference: The Deep End, held at the Wilderness Resort in Wisconsin Dells. I had just arrived to the first session, and so far, the trip for my youth group had been very challenging and hectic. The weekend was supposed to be full of fun and water parks, yet everything had been going wrong. I went to the first session angry with God because of the way the bus ride had gone. Why didn’t He step in and make the situation right? We were all here to grow in him so he could’ve helped us out. I soon learned that God meant for some of those events to happen. He was showing me my own strength, and that, in the end, he will always make it right.

MMC is Madison Masters Commission, which is run by Brian Bougher. Brian is originally from the church I now attend. He has been running MMC for a few years now, and I have seen the crew perform skits and do their amazing garbage can banc instrumental five times over the past couple of years. They even came to my high school on Wednesday night and did a performance for the local youth groups.

Brian is amazing at preaching, and I couldn’t wait to hear all he had to say. At “The Deep End,” he talked about how teenagers these days are always on Facebook or Twitter or purchasing the newest apps. He asked if we knew everyone who is our friend on Facebook, and almost everyone in the room responded with a “No.” Brian talked about how we do that to God. Sure, we’ll add him on Facebook, but we don’t really know him. He said to really know God; we have to treat him better than our best friend. We should talk to Him, confide in Him, and love Him. Brian is right. It isn’t right to just “add” God. He should be my best friend, the one I can trust in for absolutely anything. No one else can ever know me like God does. He doesn’t get mad at me, and he forgives me for the bad things I have done. No one else in the world can be like Him. He is the greatest gift I could ever have. In everything I do, God it there, whether it’s good or bad. Whether it’s pleasing to him or not, he is still there watching and listening to everything.

Following Pastor Brian’s preaching, we started worship. Worship is one of my favorite things in the whole world. When I worship I feel the presence of God. I know he is with me, and he always will be. When I was worshiping at “The Deep End,” it felt like I was standing completely alone just singing my heart out to God. The feeling I get when it’s just God and me is indescribably amazing. We started to sing the song “The More I Seek You,” which is one of my favorite worship songs. I love singing it because the words are so true and they mean a lot to me.

While I was singing, I started to realize all the stupid things I have been doing and the bad decisions I have been making. It seems so simple to just give everything to God because he has a plan and everything will work it. But, in the world today it’s so hard to. It is hard because society tries to decide who is pretty or good looking. Worship, I know that no matter what, I am beautiful because I am God’s masterpiece. It’s hard to just give life over to God because there are so many things out there that are instant satisfaction, things that lure you in. All of those instant satisfactory things will only last for so long. Then I’m on to the next thing that I think will keep me happy for that week. With God, all I need is Him, not my Facebook, my cell phone, gossip, or make-up. When I worship, I realize all of those things and I come back to the real reality of how amazing God is.

At that point, I was surrounded by the presence of God, and I was realizing that he is the only thing I need. The things I had been doing to make myself happy lately, were wrong. The things I thought I wanted were all just little things that aren’t going to matter. However, my relationship with God will. Brian then put a huge wooden cross at the front of the big room with small pieces of paper and nails, so that we could all leave whatever we wanted at the cross. Representing how Jesus died on the cross for all of mankind, so that we could be forgiven for anything and everything, as long as we turned from it and walked with God. I didn’t write anything on the paper to nail to the cross, but I did go to the front to pray.

I knelt down on my knees and started praying. I prayed about that through the things that happen with my family, friends, or boys, I will always know that God is with me. I prayed that he will keep me strong when my bother leaves because he is the one I’m closest to in my family. We talk about everything together. When he leaves, I don’t know who I will talk to about the things that I am going through. God started to speak to me and He told me that all I need is him because he is my best friend. I see now, that Caleb was there to help me through and to grow closer to God. I am going to miss him so much, but I trust that God will bring him home safe and keep me strong.

I then prayed that God would help my dad to finally start going forward in life, instead of backward. For a long time, now things have been going back and forth in his life as well as mine. I prayed to God that things would finally start to become solid for both of us. The next day, I found out that my dad proposed to his girlfriend, who is the mother of his other child.

Lastly, I prayed to God that, even though at times I feel lonely, like no one from my house or school is with me or cares about me, I would know that all I need to do is talk to him. Too often, I feel alone in the world, like no one understands how I feel or what I’m going through. But, in reality, God knows my every thought and he knows how I’m feeling. I just keep shutting him out, so I prayed that I only go forward in my relationship with God. I don’t want to leave the conference and continue my living my life the way I have been, as if nothing changed. I want to give my life to God, and quit worrying about the smallest things in life, like I have been for so long. In the end, it is my decision whether or not to give up everything up for God. But, I am going to try and stay as strong as I can, in the fight with the enemy. I will fight temptation in this world, because I was to keep my best friend, God.

My weekend at “The Deep End” conference was so amazing. The messages from Brian really spoke to me and related to my life. The worship was like no other worship I have done before. The presence of God was so immense; it was like He was holding me. I felt that my prayers were answered, which I haven’t really felt before. In life, there will be many more trials and tribulations, but at this conference God spoke to me. He told me to not be afraid. I shouldn’t be afraid of my brother leaving because as long as I give everything up to God, he will make things right. He has a plan for me. As stated above, the worship was amazing, but I don’t want to be waiting around for another conference to happen to be able to worship God like that. Every Wednesday night youth group, every night in my bedroom, every car ride, or any time at all, can be just like that if I just put my heart into it.

God spoke to me in many ways, and he showed me that he is my best friend. He loves me and cares for me. I am beautiful because I am his masterpiece, and he made me just as I was meant to be. God is everything I will ever need; I can trust him in everything I do. I’m very happy I made the decision to go the “The Deep End” conference. I know god meant for me to be there. He had so much he wanted me to know. Brian and the whole MMC team did a great job. I cannot wait until their next conference to experience even more, and grow deeper in God. I will definitely be going.





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