Ugh.... Crushes

November 11, 2011
By BluBliss GOLD, New York, New York
BluBliss GOLD, New York, New York
14 articles 0 photos 161 comments

Favorite Quote:
Bella's love for Edward was like, "Omg. He's hot. He's mine because he sparkles. Now I'll brood the wholle book while I'm with him."


No, no, no.

In my world, where love is an embarrassment to nature, and where everything that I’ve ever known is slowly crumbling into some sort f shallow impulse, there’s nothing like writing it down.

It begins with boredom, the incapability to find something meaningful, the lack of value in the things around me. And then the thoughts start to come up, emerge from their submergence to forceful ignorance. It’s something special- something that I was to forget and be free of, not let it be apart of me. But there’s no escaping it but to shun it from my reality, and that takes energy that can become tired all too quickly.

The embarrassment is some sort of disease- like knowing that bacteria is slowly condensing into your blood and infecting you, witnessing the bugs swarm and break your immunity apart. It’s ugly; you know it’s apart of you

I try to get him out of my brain- I know that I’m more of a fantasy in these daydreams than he is- the daydreams I know are playing in my head, underneath the walls I plastered round my brain for resistance. I am not as special, do not meet the standards that are necessities. I kick myself whenever I become, grudgingly, aware of this. And even more grudgingly, I become aware that my wall- my immunity, has become weak.

It’s a feeling that does not come from you, so it is not familiar, and you cannot stop it. It’s a rope that falls from your heart through your skin and rolls to someone whose name is unutterable to your mouth. If you say it, your whole self becomes changed- you become sick with the thought that you are as weak, as displeased as you are. And some adventurous, accepting part lightly whispering within the center of those resisting yells- the wall, the immunity- spurs me on, drives me on, keeps the feeling locked in my chest. It’s the origins of my madness.

I guess this is where it comes from, that we’re all mad.


The author's comments:
My mom thinks it's good for me to have crushes at my age. I don't think so. And this picture reminds me of Bound and Gagged by Creature Feature, about a girl that's kept captive and... going off topic.

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This article has 3 comments.


Ryter said...
on Nov. 21 2011 at 6:50 pm
Ryter, Warwick, New York
0 articles 0 photos 49 comments

Favorite Quote:
Yesterday is History, Tomorrow is a Mystery, and Today is a Gift, that is why it is called the Present.

I can totally relate. I love how you described this as a disease breaking the wall you hide behind. It does feel that way, doesn't it?

on Nov. 16 2011 at 2:40 pm
AnimaCordis GOLD, London, Other
13 articles 0 photos 132 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Evil is when the good do nothing"

This made me laugh. It's orginal and well written. I like how you've described crushing like a disease! I also like the idea of crushing out of boredom. Glad to know i'm not the only one! As a point of improvement I would say not to start with 'No, no no.' and just go onto 'In my world...' 

on Nov. 16 2011 at 2:36 pm
AnimaCordis GOLD, London, Other
13 articles 0 photos 132 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Evil is when the good do nothing"

This really made me laugh! I like how you've made all sound like some disease, i think it's funny and orginal. So many portray crushes as romatic and nice. The picture really suits it.


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