I Used To Hate Fall

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It would come so abruptly. One day the sun would be so close, so warm. And the next there would be frost covering the ground, and I could see my breath in the air. It was as if the warnings were slivers in time. The air would cool early on into the night, and in the morning, the sun would take its precious time heating my portion of the world. But those moments didn’t prepare me for the days I’d need a jacket, or the days that I’d walk to my bus, trudging through a sea of colors.
I used to hate fall.
Once I would adjust, once I would enjoy the colors of the fallen leaves, and the refreshing cool in the air, the leaves would disappear, covered in a white, emotionless snowfall. And the cold was no longer refreshing. It was as though once I had found peace with the season around me, it would be gone, and I’d have to wait through the coldest of days, and colorless nights. I would wait for a while… Sometimes I’d pray for the cold to cease, but after waiting for a time too long, I’d move on with my days. I’d no longer think of the colors or the refreshing cool. Life went on, in the blistering cold.
I used to hate fall.
But today, as the leaves are beginning to change, and the air has cooled, I have found happiness. I’ve learned from the feeling that once filled my heart when fall would arrive, I’ve learned to love the change, and every season, whether that season may be filled with color or not. And in this breeze, in my thoughts, I doubt that I would have learned to love fall if I hadn’t learned to love. Love, to me, is like the fall. When it begins, there’s a moment of worry, moments when you just aren’t ready. But once you adjust, once the things that scared you no longer matter, you fall in love with the beautiful colors of love. You fall in love with the days and nights, you learn to love those moments. But then, once you have found love, happiness, and contentment, those colorful seas are swept away, the stragglers covered and forgotten; love leaves. And that time of happiness didn’t prepare you for the cold, the tears, or the pain. You wait and pray for that feeling to return, hoping for peace again. But after waiting for a time, you move on, letting go of the smiles, the nights that shouldn’t have ended, and that feeling of contentment. And just when the cold and pain has taken the best of you, warmth strikes, and love finds you. Just like when fall finds you, after a freezing winter and a burning summer.
I used to hate fall.





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