The Mistake in my Past

October 11, 2011
By Jessica Martinez BRONZE, Roanoke, Indiana
Jessica Martinez BRONZE, Roanoke, Indiana
1 article 0 photos 0 comments

My life has not always been full of happiness, love, and the burning passion to try and live my life to the fullest. I haven't always tried my best to succeed, or try hard in school. I knew I had a problem, but the biggest thing was admitting it. My world revolved around one thing, and that was where it all started.

In sixth grade I was unhappy of the person I was and how I looked on the outside. No matter what anyone told me, whether it be a youth leader, pastor, teacher, friend or parent, I didn't believe it. No matter what I was told I had seemingly convinced myself I was fat and ugly. I then started to skip meals, and try my best to stay as far away from food as possible. Nothing I did seemed to be working so then I started making myself throw up. One of the biggest mistakes in my life. For me I was becoming what I thought was happy, but later to learn it would start consuming my life.

I lost a lot of weight, and some of my friends started to notice. I became weaker, and way too skinny. When I looked in the mirror all I saw was fat, but there was none. I didn't end up telling anyone until ninth grade. The first person I told made me feel better so I told someone else. My friend convinced me to tell an adult at my youth group, so I did. She helped me through it and told me if I continued she would tell my parents because it was getting to the point where it was starting to really harm me. I eventually got scared enough that I stopped because to me the worst thing would have been for my parents to find out. To this day I regret it all and wish I had only seen the true beauty that others saw in me.
I am Gods creation and he created me the way I am and no matter what I think about myself, Gods opinion is the only one that matters. Eating disorders are a serious matter and should be taken care of as soon as possible.

The author's comments:
this is a brief summery of this tragic time in my life,

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