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The Mistake in My Past

My life has not always been full of happiness, love, and the burning passion to try and live my life to the fullest. I haven't always tried my best to succeed, or try hard in school. I knew in my head I had a problem, but it didn't bother me. My world revolved around one thing, and that's where it all began.
In sixth grade I was unhappy with the person I was and how i looked on the outside. No matter what anyone told me, whether it be a pastor, youth leader, parent or friend, i didn't believe it. NO matter what i was told i had seemingly convinced myself i was fat. I then decided i was going to go on a diet, but it wasn't really a diet it was a disorder. I started to skip meals, and stay as far away from food as i could. Nothing i did seemed to be working, that's when i really got into thee whole "diet" thing. I started trowing up when i would eat, and other times i just didn't eat. To me i was becoming what i thought was perfect, but later to learn it consumed my whole life.

I lost a lot of weight, and some of my friends started to notice. I became weaker and way to skinny. When i would look in thee mirror thee only thing i saw was fat, even through there was none I didn't end up telling anyone this until 9the grade. The first person i told helped me tell someone else and that person was a youth leader that went to my church. The woman i told helped me so much and eventually helped me to stop withe my eating disorders. She told me that if i were to continue going down thee path i was going down she would then tell my parents because my disorder was getting to thee point it was harming me.

After i stopped i got thee courage to stand up in front of my youth group and share what i had been going through. I got lots of help from that and i got lots of love from thee people who found out. To this day i regret it all and wish i had only seen thee true beauty that others saw in me, because i am gods creation and he created me thee way i am and no matter what i think about myself gods opinion is thee only one that matters.





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