The Mistake in My Past

October 12, 2011
My life has not always been full of happiness, love, and the burning passion to try and live my life to the fullest. I haven't always tried my best to succeed, or try hard in school. I knew in my head I had a problem, but it didn't bother me. My world revolved around one thing, and that's where it all began.
In sixth grade I was unhappy with the person I was and how i looked on the outside. No matter what anyone told me, whether it be a pastor, youth leader, parent or friend, i didn't believe it. NO matter what i was told i had seemingly convinced myself i was fat. I then decided i was going to go on a diet, but it wasn't really a diet it was a disorder. I started to skip meals, and stay as far away from food as i could. Nothing i did seemed to be working, that's when i really got into thee whole "diet" thing. I started trowing up when i would eat, and other times i just didn't eat. To me i was becoming what i thought was perfect, but later to learn it consumed my whole life.

I lost a lot of weight, and some of my friends started to notice. I became weaker and way to skinny. When i would look in thee mirror thee only thing i saw was fat, even through there was none I didn't end up telling anyone this until 9the grade. The first person i told helped me tell someone else and that person was a youth leader that went to my church. The woman i told helped me so much and eventually helped me to stop withe my eating disorders. She told me that if i were to continue going down thee path i was going down she would then tell my parents because my disorder was getting to thee point it was harming me.

After i stopped i got thee courage to stand up in front of my youth group and share what i had been going through. I got lots of help from that and i got lots of love from thee people who found out. To this day i regret it all and wish i had only seen thee true beauty that others saw in me, because i am gods creation and he created me thee way i am and no matter what i think about myself gods opinion is thee only one that matters.

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