The struggle with weight had never really been an issue until I had a severe bout of depression. It started kindof slowly in November of last year, only about 5 pounds and my mom said it was good for me. So I accepted it and moved on. Then the scale's number crept up bigger and bigger 8, then 10, I had gone from 118 pounds at 5' 8 1/2" tall to being 128 pounds by January of the same year. My mom still said I was a healthy weight but I was getting concerned. My bout with depression was for the most part over with, and it seemed my metabolism just wasn't working like it should. As the months went by and January turned to the middle of April, I decided to go on a diet and switch my meds to one that might help me loose weight. At that point I was a total of 142 pounds. I had gained 24 pounds in a little under 7 months. This had to have been connected to my meds. So we swiched me and little by little, pound by pound, I lost weight, until I was at about 135. Not that much, but I was thinner. Then, in the end of July, we went to West Virginia. When we got back, after only one week, I had gained back all the weight I had lost...As a result I now fear the scale. I still weigh myself every week and diet, and I am back down to 136, but that setback cost me a lot of self confidence. Last week I gained 2 pounds, so this week I will skip at least 2 or three dinners if im not that hungry. This is what the weight war is doing to me. And this is what must continue until I reach my goal weight. I will not starve myself for beauty, but I will get as close as I can get.
The Weight War
September 11, 2011