A diffult time

September 2, 2011
By Anonymous

A year and a half ago i was sexually assaulted by my supposed boyfriend at school. i couldn't leave and i was scared to death. he forced me down on my knees. i hated myself afterwards. and so did my family. my mother punished and so did the school board. i was suspended from February til the end of the school year. i didn't understand why i was being punished for being sexually assaulted. my cutting got worse afterwards. i didn't eat some days. i have nightmares from the assault still and wake up screaming. i hate myself for being so weak but i hate my family more for not supporting me. sometimes i want to slap them and yell till they hear me. i was disgusted with myself and still am sometimes today. i find myself scrubbing my mouth with my toothbrush or digging at it. i ran away in August of last year but my mother found me. then in February i attempted suicide. i think the anniversary of the assault got to me and being back at school. they tried to send me to a hospital but i ended up not being a harm to myself or others yet. i got help after that. I am still a cutter and a Anorexic nut i am determined to push past everything and get better. i hope by next year i will be a recover cutter, anorexic. its still hard for me to talk about but its getting easier. i have a hard time at school. i get scared and break down. i have attempted school three times in the last year and its never failed. I'm going back to school in four days and want to stay. I'm not going to let him win.


The author's comments:
I hope by writing this that other cutters, anorexics or someone who w
as assaulted in anyway will get help too. its not good to deal with it on your own. I've tried and its impossible.

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This article has 3 comments.


Katie1234 GOLD said...
on Sep. 12 2011 at 3:57 pm
Katie1234 GOLD, Velva, North Dakota
10 articles 0 photos 77 comments

Favorite Quote:
"When life becomes more than you can stand; fall to your knees"
"To be normal is to be boring."
"You cannot make men good by law."
"Christians believe that Jesus Christ is the son of God because He said so."
"To be a Christian means to forgive the inexcusable, because God has forgiven the inexcusable in you."

It's my pleasure. I wish someone had understood when I went through it. If I can assist anyone in not feeling that way, I will.

Kassity SILVER said...
on Sep. 12 2011 at 3:45 pm
Kassity SILVER, Lansing, Michigan
5 articles 0 photos 9 comments

Favorite Quote:
Not all scars show, not all wounds heal, sometimes you cant always see, the pain someone feels.

thank that is some helpful. i havent met anyone who has been through the same thing. and its really hard being in the same school as him, seeing him everyday. thank you Katie for being a friend.

-Kassity.


Katie1234 GOLD said...
on Sep. 12 2011 at 7:47 am
Katie1234 GOLD, Velva, North Dakota
10 articles 0 photos 77 comments

Favorite Quote:
"When life becomes more than you can stand; fall to your knees"
"To be normal is to be boring."
"You cannot make men good by law."
"Christians believe that Jesus Christ is the son of God because He said so."
"To be a Christian means to forgive the inexcusable, because God has forgiven the inexcusable in you."

I know how that feels. I've been assaulted twice. The first time, no one believed me. I hadn't told them for the longest time because I was afraid that they wouldn't believe me. When it happened again, my aunts' eyes were no longer blinded. She could tell, as could everyone else. 

 

The best way to recover is to talk to people who know what you have gone through. Find a good friend, one who will just listen. 

 

If you would like, you can always talk to me.





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