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Get That Single Girl Swag
Popular to Christian belief, we are all living on this Earth now because it is our job to repopulate it. Obviously that means being associated with a partner of the opposite sex. But no one should be concerned with having babies until they're married, which they shouldn't be concerned about until they are in their 20s. What I'm trying to get at is, there is really no need for a relationship when you're in your teens.
Don't get me wrong, here. I want to meet the man of my dreams and marry him, then go down to the Caribbean Islands for our honeymoon, and then have six kids together. But I'm not worried about meeting that perfect man right now. There will be a time for love, and I believe that right now is not the time. But of course us girls always think that, right?
It was the middle of my 8th grade year when my former crush asked me out. I couldn't believe that a boy actually liked me, and of course I said yes. We texted each other a lot and went on a few days. He was super nice, always holding my hand and giving me kisses goodbye. It was a really stable relationship. Three months later, however, something he did didn't settle with me, and I accidentally kept dropping hints about it. Right when I was about to call and break it off, he called me and did so first. We agreed to remain friends, and we stuck to that agreement.
Months passed and then January came. One day he randomly facebook chatted me, and we were talking for hours. At one point I even got the courage to ask him to my school's winter formal. I was estatic when he said yes. Days later, he called and asked if I wanted to get back together with him. I had been having feelings for him for about a month, and I was literally jumping for joy.
I really thought that our relationship would be like our previous relationship. However, it was totally different. Within the first month we started making out. Whenever we hung out that's all we would do, sit in his basement and "watch" TV. At the time I didn't mind, but after two months of just doing that it was getting irritating. He started going further and further, too, going as far as third and asking me to do the same. Of course I found my way around it, I was feeling more and more uncomfortable as we kept dating. Finally I had had enough, and I broke it off. He responded with deleting me off of Facebook. I thought it was hysterical, and I dind't bother adding him back. I could care less about his feelings at the moment.
We didn't speak to each other for about three months. Then one day a group of us got together and he was there. We saw each other progressively over the next few days. Then I let myself get the best of myself, and we proceeded to make out again. I won't lie, this time I actually wanted to make out with him. I could feel my feelings growing for him again, and I really considered asking him if he wanted to try again.
The next day I woke up and I really don't know why, but I went back to hating him. I realized that if we went back out, all he would do was abuse my body again. That's all he did, anyways. He never called me beautiful or suggested any new thing to do. All he wanted to do was make out in his basement and call me hot, which I was not okay with. He really ruined my desire of wanting a boyfriend. I was looking for a relationship, not a friend with benefits.
Everyday now I find myself thinking about him. He just pops into my head during the most random times. The bad thing is I can't control it. I'm completely over him, and yet here I am always thinking about him.
My ex-boyfriend and I barely went out for three months at a time, and I am constantly thinking about him. Such little time together had that much of an effect on me, and I absolutely loathe it. While I don't regret it (I had wanted him at some point, right?), I do wish I had given it more thought. I dind't realize what could have happened. Had I known, I might have been able to be happier.
Now that I've been through it once, I'm hesitant at going through it again anytime soon. My ex changed the way I look at relationships. Before, I was so jealous at any girl who had a boyfriend and I was always wondering, "Why don't boys like me?" Now, I don't give it a second thought. I'm happy being single. Having a boyfriend caused so much more stress in my life, especially since I wasn't happy with the relationship.
So what I'm trying to say is, if you girls don't have a boyfriend, don't fret about it! There is more to enjoy in life than boys! Don't have your entire world revolve around guys, and don't ever change yourself for a guy (trust me, it isn't worth it). Just be happy with what you have now, and worry about the other things later. :)