August 11, 2011
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Out there, there's this boy.
He's smart, he's funny, sweet, caring, considerate, cute, witty, and all around seems to sparkle. His name? I can't tell you, but I have the pleasure of seeing him every day of my life. I first met him at a party, and he didn't really seem too out of the ordinary. I'm shy to strangers, so I didn't say anything.Then, during the school year I realize that he's in the majority of my classes. I finally got the courage to talk to him while we were working together on a history project. He suddenly seemed pretty special. Unlike most people, I remained shy around him. One day, I caught myself staring at him. Blushing, I averted my eyes from the dark brown ones that belong to him. They say eyes are windows to the soul. I fell in love with his eyes. They held this light, this intellect and mystery. I wanted to know the secrets behind them. His voice was like silk, and I could listen to it for hours. I fell into the habit of shooting glances to him across the English room. I had no friends in that class except for the silent bond we seemed to share. Things slowly began to feel different than they had before. The days where brighter, colors were sharper, I smiled more and I had a reason to get up in the morning. He was the light of my life. Yet, I spoke very few words to him. I'm not a very, how shall I say, attractive person. I've never felt beautiful before in my life. I look in the mirror and I'm simply disappointed in what I see. No boy has ever liked me, and I blame this. Keep this in mind. I wanted so much to tell him how I felt, how attracted I was to him. How much I look forward to that split second of his eyes to mine. But I was afraid the feeling was not mutual, so I said nothing. By the end of the year, my feelings had become so strong, it was hard to contain. Every time our eyes met, I felt electricity shoot down my arms. When I heard his voice, my heart raced.I could try to say the words I longed to say, but they wouldn't come out. Every night, I'd rehearse conversations that never occurred, something I still do. I found myself taking the long way around the halls, just so I could see him. It was amazing how just a small smile could brighten my day. And then, things changed. My friend had feelings for him, also. I felt his connection with her grow. It's interesting, I can almost read emotions, I'm really good at it, when it's not directed towards me. But their connection grew, and I became more desperate. I tried anything, but nothing would save me. I knew he loved her, and she loved him. I knew I should tell them, but I loved him, so I said nothing. They say I'm dramatic, and I probably am. Eventually, they started dating. And I died that day. But I knew they were happy, so I said nothing. Then, he got an email. And I was able to Instant Message him. Suddenly, worlds opened. I could tell him anything, and not have to look into his beautiful eyes. However, I told him things over email, and to me, we became different people in cyberland. I could never connect the two boys. My hand still itched to be in his during the day.Over the computer, I told him how I felt.Then one day, he told me something I'll never forget. That first year, he found himself staring at me. He found me attractive, beautiful even. He told me that he looked forward to the glances I so enjoyed during our insane English class. But he thought I didn't like him, so he said nothing.And he moved on. But I didn't. I still feel just as I had, just as starstruck, just as innocent, just as heartbroken.
So if there's someone out there that you care for, I beg of you; Speak out. Seize the moment. For all we know, the sun may not rise tomorrow.

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