Ever since I was a little girl I have wanted to fall in love. I always had this big idea of a small country wedding. But as I got older, my desire to fall in love started to fade away. I saw all the fights , the hearts that have been broken, and the lives that have been lost.

When I went on to the age of 8, I noticed how messed up the world is. I actually was afraid to fall in love by then. Because by that age I understood what abuse is. And I was afraid that if I were to marry the wrong guy he would hurt me. From then till I was about 11 I only had crushes, and all the relationships I was in were temporary they only lasted 2 day to a week at the most.

But when I reached middle school, I understood that life isn’t gonna be this fairytale and you can’t hide from love forever. The year of 6th grade, I went out with this guy numerous times… and each time one of us ended up getting hurt. I didn’t know how to let go and move on… I though I was falling in love but I was just some silly kid that didn’t know better.

A year went by, and I got over him. I don’t know how but I did, and I’m very happy to find thatJ So, at the age of 12, I stayed away from guys for a bit. And focused on my friends, and just having a great time. I dated guys occasionally that year. At the end though, I met this amazing guy. And I thought I loved him. I never knew I would be able to let him go, until something happened. It had only been a month since me and him had split till we got back together… and man, I don’t know what I would do without him…

I was thinking about this last night, and I was thinking what I would be like if I was still scared to fall in love….. Then again I am only 13 so not a big deal