Kissing Dandelions

July 12, 2011
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I remember the day I ran the long way home, the way I never dared travel, for the fear of losing myself in a world of vivid green nothing. I pushed my way through trees and shrubs, the tears warm on my face. I choked on humid air and tears, gasping for air. I felt as if my chest had opened up and released all my breathe and love. But I could feel my heartbeat, yes it was still there. The thought of holding on to that worthless broken scar resulted in a fresh wave of tears to spill from my eyes. The air was suddenly stolen from my lungs.

I collapsed into an open field. I tried to resist, but the fresh memory forced itself back into my mind. It all replayed before my eyes once again. My best friend. My boyfriend? The two closest people in my life, whom I'd loved with all my soul, betrayed me. How could a beautiful boy like that confess his love to you, and then get with your best friend? And how could an amazing friend like that go along with it? Kissing so passionately behind closed doors...

I felt as I had been slapped in the face. How could anyone do such a thing? And then I layer there and sobbed until my throat was dry and my eyes were practically swollen shut. I could taste the salt on my lips, and the hurt in my heart. I loved him. I though he was different, but how cliché this first love had played out.

When I opened my eyes, I found myself in a large grassy field. And there were dandelions everywhere. Little drops of sunshine scattered all around me. I wanted to think about anything other than why hat happened. And naturally, I started observing a dandelion. I had never really noticed how bright and lovely they truly were. A weed. A beautiful weed.

Perhaps that's what I was. I was no flower, but in fact a beautiful weed, something that people had no regret
hurting. I started to ponder the life of a dandelion.

Imagine being gorgeous, but never really seen for your magnificent qualities. Ignored because you weren't good enough to be a flower. The world would view you as nothing but a stubborn little weed. People would do anything to get rid of you. Imagine how terrible. A dandelion, something so tiny and delicate, so bright and beautiful, being shrugged off. Imagine being stepped on by the world for no particular reason. Imagine being that alone and hated.

I had succeeded in focusing all my sorrow on something else. I still felt pain, but it was dulled by a sudden love for all the little things. I felt pity for a dandelion. I dont know what it was, but at that moment my whole perspective on life shifted. It felt good to care about something besides my own troubles. After all, ten years from now, would I still feel the pain from that day? Maybe only for a second.

From that day on, I focused all my love on little things. I'd help anyone I could, and care for all animals. I even planted Sunflowers in my backyard. I felt so warm inside, that in time the pain faded. I had found myself, and I had reached out to others.

What you're going through right now may seem like the end if the world, but just give it time to work itself out. Learn to love and enjoy all the small things that bring you happiness. And maybe even next time you see a dandelion, give it a little peck to show it that it's appreciated.

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